elusive and amazing: female ejaculation

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According to some people, one of the hottest things a woman can do is to ejaculate during orgasm. But to a lot of women, the whole concept of “female ejaculation,” also called squirting, is confusing and maybe even a little freaky. Here’s some info to help clear the record once and for all about female ejaculation:

• Female ejaculation is definitely not a myth! It happens to so many more women than you could imagine, and a lot of people are incredibly turned on by it.

• The more aroused you are, the more likely you are to ejaculate – so make sure you’re all warmed up. If your partner is helping you feel aroused, communicate. Let them know what works for you and what doesn’t to get those juices flowing!

• Have your partner locate and start stimulating your G-spot. Use small, repetitive circular movements to start. Once the G-spot starts to swell in size, keep going, and start increasing pressure a little at a time. You’re probably going to feel like you might have to pee, but don’t worry – you won’t.

• Next, have your partner increase the intensity and speed in a way that’s comfortable for you. What works really great is to be as relaxed as possible, so you can concentrate on the sensations and let yourself go. Remember to breathe, and keep going until you reach the point of orgasm.

• Female ejaculation feels different for every woman. You might not feel anything at all! Similar to how a guy can feel all sorts of different things when his cock is stimulated in a variety of ways, it’s the same way with G-spot orgasms. Every orgasm is different, and every woman feels something different if and when she ejaculates! Some say it feels like a regular orgasm. Others feel a sensation similar to urination (although the fluid that comes out is definitely NOT pee!), and still others feel nothing at all except for additional wetness.

• So what actually happens to the body when female ejaculation takes place? The Skene’s gland, which is located on the upper wall of the vagina, fills up with fluid during arousal. When the G-spot is stimulated to the point of orgasm, it can cause a gush-like release of fluid. There’s no actual scientific evidence why this happens for some women and not others. Similar to how everyone’s orgasm is different, the same goes for female ejaculation. Some women squirt with distance (like guys), and some only get an increased splishy-splashy feeling. So if you don’t squirt, or if you don’t have something that looks like a geyser, there’s absolutely nothing wrong. It’s different for everyone.

• If you don’t ejaculate the first (or second, or third) time you have a G-spot orgasm, don’t worry! Sometimes a g-spot orgasm will not have a gush to go along with it, but it’ll still be incredibly intense.

• The general response from sex partners of those who ejaculate is they think it’s amazing. Making someone’s body do something involuntarily is incredibly sexy! It’s similar to seeing your guy ejaculate during an orgasm. For both men and women, who are generally very, very visual creatures, seeing pleasure in this way can be a huge turn-on.

So yes, female ejaculation is a real thing. Try a few techniques to see if you’re able to squirt, and add it to your bedroom play – and if it doesn’t happen, it’s still a whole lot of fun exploring your G-spot!

For even more information, including techniques on how to achieve your own ejaculatory orgasm, check out “Guide to Wicked Sex: G-Spot & Female Ejaculation.”


*This article originally appeared on Fleshbot.com as part of a weeklong guest editor gig I had