Rules of a Threesome: The Comfort Zone
Having written previously about how to initiate a threesome, I think it’s important to dig deeper and look at some of the potential hazards lovers must navigate once they’ve found the third person for their “ménage à trois.”
Pre-Game Report: Get in the Zone
While sensitivity, compassion and respect are foundationally important in all forms of sexual
exploration, they’re critical to threesomes, where the tastes and boundaries of each person
must be clearly communicated in advance to maximize “the comfort zone” for all involved.
I subtitled my jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex DVD from Wicked Pictures Every Man’s
Fantasy because, ultimately, this has been my experience after years of interaction with my
male fans. So let’s get real. Men, if another woman is entering the sexual equation, keep
one thing in mind: It’s not all about you! If you’ve followed the steps outlined in my previous
Threesomes article, then this lady is there because she’s likely as attracted to your partner as she is to you. Everything you do physically and emotionally should reinforce this chemistry.
Possibly the most important rule to remember during a threesome is the Rule of Firsts. Always make sure your everyday partner is the first you go down on, have intercourse with, give an orgasm, or receive your semen. The more couples I speak with who engage in threesomes, the more I understand this to be the Golden Rule when it comes to bringing in a third person.
Halftime Report: First Among Equals
Once you are in bed, pleasure both women with as much mutual attention as possible. Be
generous! As you’ve already discussed boundaries and positions in advance, modulate your sensual choices accordingly – for example, if kissing isn’t within your new lover’s comfort zone, touch and caress her body passionately without “going there,” even if the heat of the moment is attempting to persuade you otherwise.
And of course, it’s the same once the penetration begins. If she seemed disinterested in, say, one-on-one missionary sex with you when specific positions were discussed earlier, don’t try to press the point once all three of you are between the sheets.
If you’re truly 100% present with both ladies as you move from each mutual act to another, you’ll treat each woman as “firsts among equals.” And chances are, you’re going to enjoy the way your sexual savvy is rewarded.
Post-Game Wrap-Up: Don’t Be the Last to Know
As this heady adventure becomes a happy memory, be open and honest with your partner
about your experience. You may think you were the perfect gentleman, but invite her opinions, good and bad.
Communication and honesty are key, as always. Regardless of whether you both see more
threesomes looming on the horizon, candidly discuss what you got right and even, more
importantly, where you may have gone wrong – especially if any sexual “lines in the sand” were blurred or, even worse, crossed.
Of the three stages of sharing I’ve outlined here, the “Post-Game Wrap-Up” may be the most important of all, as it will probably dictate whether or not you and your partner ever go down this road again. So don’t just listen to her thoughts – hear them.
Be completely honest in your own feelings as well. This is why honesty is so paramount – if you don’t believe your partner has accepted your thoughts on the subject with sincerity, you’ll find yourself reminding her of it in a million ways.
While I touched on positions ever so briefly here, be sure to investigate jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Threesomes – Every Man’s Fantasy for more explicit and varied examples.
I’ll be writing more on this topic in the near future, but in the meantime, I wish you the best as your own “Game Day” threesome approaches. If you stay within the comfort zone, not only will you cross the finish line, you’ll recognize it like a long-lost friend.