Masturbation – Tips for the Newbie

Those searching online for guidance on ‘sexual pleasure’ will be swamped with articles on how to please your partner.  This goes to show sexual pleasure is mostly thought of as a feeling flowing outward towards another person.  Before you can communicate what would satisfy you to your lover, it is important you know how to satisfy yourself.  Touching yourself is a way of getting in touch with what type of stimulation turns you on.  At its very core, great sex is comprised of communication and knowledge of self-love and self-pleasure, which is derived from masturbation.

Society has long shamed the act of masturbation even more than sex.  As a result, there are many people who feel a sense of embarrassment about masturbation, even though it’s a beautiful and important thing to make time for.  Here are some tips for getting the most out of your alone time:

Find a space.  Masturbation requires uninterrupted concentration; find a private space in which you can be as comfortable and as loud as you want.  If you live with other people, timing is key and having a door which locks might come in handy.

Relax.  Get into the mode of “me.”  This requires letting go of all the worries of yesterday, today, and tomorrow.  Do whatever you need to quiet down the buzz inside of your head.  You can light candles, listen to music, or have the hum of your favorite xxx feature playing in the background.

Oh yeah… watch porn.  Porn can be the catalyst you need to get your libido in desire mode.  Have your favorite genres, scenes or performers close by, then hit the play button… and I’m not just talking about the remote!

Or use your imagination.  While men often rely on more visual stimulation, women have been using their imagination since long before Eve bit into the proverbial apple!  Take a moment and really think about what turns you on.  Perhaps it’s a woman or man you met the other day, a coworker you’ve been vying for, a celebrity, a made-up person, or two, or three.  Pretend you’re the director of your own adult flick.

Find what feels good.  You have nerve fibers all over your body.  Use your hands to graze lightly against your skin everywhere because likely it’ll feel good and some spots will call out for more touch.  For most people, nerve fibers are concentrated in the lips, tongue, nipples vulva, pussy, clit, cock head, anus… well, you get the idea.  Recognize which spots are the most sensitive to you.  Use your fingers to find spots that tickle, but instead of laughing, you’re tightening and going “Mmmm…” During your exploration remember your feel-good spots and remember precisely how you touch them.  You will want to revisit often. 🙂

Use adult toys.  Consider purchasing a vibrator or dildo for a pleasurable experience your hands can’t offer.  You can insert a vibrator or dildo inside you and figure out which strokes and moves you enjoy.  Women can also leave their vibrator on their vulva or directly on their clit, figuring how much pressure to apply for earth shattering orgasms.  Men will also find a lot of pleasure from a bullet vibe placed against their balls or cock.  If you’re on a budget, you can use certain household items as well, detachable shower heads for example.  Use a certain amount of discernment when choosing what objects to pleasure yourself with. Always make sure that the base is wider than the top; when you have something to hold on to, it makes for successful removal. 😉 The objects should also be hygienic and safe.  For example, wash any pesticides off that beautiful cucumber before you insert it…

Keep practicing and have fun!

XO,

jd