Girls’ Night Out at Cornell Winery!

Come join me on Thursday, June 25 at 7 pm for a “Girls’ Night Out” event at Cornell Winery in Agoura, California.

Although I do many seminars and enjoy speaking at Universities, this is going to be a really unique event. Instead of a workshop, this is going to be more of a participation driven round table discussion of all things sex! No topic is off limits, and all questions will be answered.

Having a girl’s night out at a winery will lend a different atmosphere to learning and sharing sexual information, and I’m looking forward to what I hope is the first of many fun, educational nights. Bring a friend and enjoy wine, cheese, chocolate, and some very Wicked gift bags, as well.

Visit for more information on the venue and read the below flyer for more info on the event and instructions on how to RSVP.


More Sex Means More Money

Originally Posted on The Daily Beast
Written By: Charlotte Lytton

A new study finds that those who have more sex bring home bigger paychecks. How bedroom behavior deepens your pockets.

Employees with active sex lives perform better at work, a new study reports. Those who get it on two or three times a week earn 4.5 percent more than their less coitus-inclined colleagues, proving that our bedroom and boardroom behaviors are more closely linked than we may like to think.


Given that the wages and sex lives of Generation Y are in well-documented decline, this could just be the two-birds-one-stone solution we’ve been looking for.

Dr. Nick Drydakis and his team at Anglia Ruskin University in the UK charted data from 7,500 participants analyzing the association between sexual activity and wages. They uncovered a strong correlation between the two areas: ‘Contemporary social analysis suggests that health, cognitive and non-cognitive skills and personality are important factors that affect wage level,’ says the paper.

“The vast medical and psychological literature concludes that sexual activity is associated with good health and improved physical and mental capacities, psychological well-being and dietary habits,” Drydakis said of the study’s findings. Maslow’s Need Hierarchy Theory claims that the happier and more fulfilled individuals are in their lives, the more productive and successful they will be in their work, translating to higher wages. The theory concludes that people need to love and be loved, sexually and non-sexually, by others. In the absence of these elements, people may become susceptible to loneliness, social anxiety and depression—all factors that can affect their working life.”

Lucie, 24, agrees. “If you’re happier at home and feeling confident in a relationship, it makes sense that you’d perform better at work. If a direct correlation was found between sex and earnings, I’d be very happy to sleep with my boyfriend more often to get ahead! Sex and work are both important aspects of life, so being active in both—particularly if it means making more money—is key.”

“If you’re happier at home and feeling confident in a relationship, it makes sense that you’d perform better at work.”

One thing the study didn’t unearth is what comes first: are higher earners better at talking people into bed, or do those with good sex lives feel more confident when it comes to the working world? Either way, the message is clear: getting it on is good for your health, and with paltry wages and graduate unemployment levels sky high, why argue?

Indeed, making an impression in the workplace is tougher than ever for millennials, who are leaving college steeped in debt only to find they can’t get the job they need to start paying their way out of the hole. And it’s hardly a surprise that sex is now a far less frequent feat when so many twentysomethings are still living at home—maintaining a healthy sex life when shacked up with mom and dad isn’t exactly an easy task. If young people can’t get their emotional and sexual fulfillment because they can’t afford to move out, but can’t get a job that’ll enable them to pay rent, how can we expect the situation to change?

When it comes to Drydakis’s research, no: correlation does not equal causation—sex five times a week won’t make your bonus that much bigger. But, if improvements in the bedroom encourage those in the boardroom, who wouldn’t want to put in a little more effort?

Sex in Britain 2015: The women who have become so dissatisfied in the bedroom that they have NO interest in sex

Written By Professor David Spiegelhalter. Originally premiered on

  • 50% of women and 40% of men had at least one sex problem in past year
  • Problems include lacking interest in sex, pain and experiencing no arousal
  • Other problems are difficulty in climaxing and trouble keeping an erection
  • But the proportion of men who had a lack of interest, enjoyment and arousal is only half that of women

Cambridge Professor David Spiegelhalter has carried out the most in-depth study ever made into what really goes on in the bedrooms. Here, in part three of the Mail’s fascinating serialisation of the findings, he reveals how many women are left so dissatisfied by sex they’ve lost interest in it…


Cinematic depictions of sex invariably feature couples consumed by lust who make love with passion and athleticism and are left sated by their experiences. But the truth is always more complicated than fiction.

For the fact is that half of sexually active women and 40 per cent of sexually active men say they have experienced one or more problems in the past year, according to the 2010 British National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal).

Problems were identified as lacking interest or enjoyment in sex, physical pain as a result of intercourse, experiencing no excitement or arousal, difficulty in climaxing, climaxing too soon and — for men — having trouble getting or keeping an erection.

Of these women, a third said they lacked interest in sex and one in 12 admitted feeling no excitement or arousal during intercourse, while one in six don’t achieve orgasm or take a long time to get there.

For many women, it may be comforting to know that men have problems, too. The Natsal survey found that around 15 per cent reach climax too soon — otherwise known as premature ejaculation — while trouble getting or keeping an erection, known as erectile dysfunction, affects one in eight. While the chances of experiencing sexual problems increase as we get older, what may surprise you is the proportion of 16 to 24-year-olds who say they’ve had an issue in the past year: 45 per cent of women and 35 per cent of men.

This shows you’re not alone if you’re young and your sex life isn’t perfect. Age remains a key factor for men: while 8 per cent of 20-year-olds had erectile problems, this was a third around 70.

However, the proportion of men who had a lack of interest, enjoyment and arousal is only half that of women.

Perhaps this explains why the most common problem for couples — affecting one in four — is that one partner is more interested in sex than the other.

Other issues include around 15 per cent of men and women reporting sexual difficulties for their partners, while 10 per cent of men and 7 per cent of women said their other half did not share sexual likes and dislikes.

But very few admitted not feeling emotionally close to their partners — just 2 per cent of women and 1 per cent of men — showing that even sexless relationships can be loving.


It took the world by storm after its development in the late Nineties, but Viagra wasn’t the first treatment for a man wanting to boost his potency.

John ‘Goat-gland’ Brinkley traveled the U.S. in the Twenties promising to restore sexual energy by sewing goats’ testicles into men’s scrotums. Was it a success? The fact he eventually went bankrupt amid numerous lawsuits over the deaths of patients suggests not.

In the previous decade, a Viennese scientist called Eugen Steinach had recommended partial or full vasectomies for enhancing virility, the thinking being it would shift the balance from sperm to hormone production in the affected testicle. Freud and the Irish poet W. B. Yeats were ‘steinached’. Obviously, it didn’t work.

Viagra became available on the NHS in 1999. The cost was estimated at £10 million a year, but by 2012 there were 1.2 million prescriptions costing £30 each — a total of £40 million.

While Viagra is now cheaper — it lost its patent in 2013, meaning other drug companies could produce copies — there’s still a thriving black market.

When Dutch researchers wanted to calculate how much is taken, they sampled sewage from three cities for a week to calculate Viagra consumption. Only 40 per cent could be accounted for by legal prescriptions.
The proportion of men who had a lack of interest, enjoyment and arousal is only half that of women.

The proportion of men who had a lack of interest, enjoyment and arousal is only half that of women.


Figures from 2010 reveal that of those aged 16 to 72, 1 per cent of women say they are lesbian and 1.5 per cent of men identify as being gay.

Women, however, are more likely to identify as bisexual — 1.4 per cent — compared to 1 per cent of men.

This would mean that roughly one in 80 adults under 75 is gay or lesbian and one in 80 bisexual. With a UK adult population of around 47 million, this means a total of 1.2 million — the same as the population of Birmingham.

Figures are higher among the younger population, too, especially women. For example, one in 27 women aged 16 to 24 says she thinks of herself as lesbian or bisexual.

But it’s when it comes to sexual behavior with someone of the same sex, figures really soar.

For women aged 16 to 44, the proportions who’ve had same-sex experience — which includes everything from kissing to full sex — has risen from 4 per cent in 1990 to 10 per cent in 2000 and 16 per cent in 2010. What’s the explanation for this? My view is that while women were more willing to reveal sensitive information in 2000 than they were in 1990, the rise in 2010 is down to changing behaviour. One in five women aged 20 says she’s had a same-sex experience, compared to one in 40 aged 70.

And it’s clearly more than just having a kiss like Madonna or Katy Perry: nearly one in 20 women reports having had a same-sex partner — someone with whom you’ve had ‘genital’ contact — in the past five years.

Meanwhile, the number of men ever having a same-sex partner is 7 per cent among 16 to 24-year-olds and 9 per cent among 45 to 54-year-olds.

It’s clear that far more people have had same-sex experiences than say they are gay or bisexual. The most recent U.S. survey shows that the majority of people who report same-sex contact label themselves as ‘heterosexual’.
You’re not alone if you’re young and your sex life isn’t perfect. Age remains a key factor for men: while 8 per cent of 20-year-olds had erectile problems, this was a third around 70

This may well back up Kinsey’s theory that there is a spectrum of sexuality and many people fall in between being completely straight or gay, even if they don’t want to admit it to themselves.

What’s also clear is the more educated you are, the more likely you are to have a same-sex experience: the rates are three times higher among those with further education compared to those with no qualifications. Why?

One possibility is that in liberal circles, people are more accepting of a wide range of behaviour and, therefore, people don’t feel inhibited.

Finally, as a society, we’re more accepting of same-sex relationships than ever. In 1990, 25 per cent thought they were ‘not wrong at all’. Now that figure is over 50 per cent.


It’s a myth that Queen Victoria failed to make lesbianism illegal because she didn’t believe it could exist.

Certainly, far from being a rare occurrence in previous generations, figures from 1929 suggest it was commonplace in some circles, with 14 per cent of single women and 20 per cent of married women reporting sexual contact with other women.

The research, in Katherine Bement Davis’s study Factors In The Sex Life of Twenty-Two Hundred Women, was the first done into U.S. lesbian activity. (Though hers was hardly a random group of women, consisting as it did of liberal university wives.)

Alfred Kinsey was the next to investigate rates of lesbianism, in the Forties. He developed the Kinsey scale in which people’s sexual desires could be plotted on a seven-point scale — from ‘exclusively heterosexual’ to ‘exclusively homosexual’, depending on their experience and desires.

He concluded that ‘at least 37 per cent of the male population has some homosexual experience’, though his research was later criticised because he had not targeted a random sample of the population.

Meanwhile, he decided 20 per cent of women had same-sex experiences, with 13 per cent involving orgasm.


A review of scientific studies in 2010 revealed lesbians tend to have relatively smaller index fingers compared to their ring fingers. A longer ring finger in men indicates higher levels of testosterone. One theory is that girls who have more exposure to androgens — hormones that includes testosterone — in the womb are more likely to be lesbian.
The most common problem for couples — affecting one in four — is that one partner is more interested in sex than the other.

The most common problem for couples — affecting one in four — is that one partner is more interested in sex than the other (posed by model)

Additionally, men with more older brothers have a higher chance of being gay or bisexual. It’s estimated that each older brother is associated with an increased likelihood of being gay — three older brothers more than doubles the chance.

It’s not known why this happens, but it’s thought the mother may produce increasing antibodies to male offspring and this somehow influences the sexual orientation of the fetus.


One Norwegian survey estimated that a quarter of men born from 1927 to 1934 had visited a prostitute, compared to 6 per cent of those born from 1975 to 1984.

In Britain today, 11 per cent of men say they have paid for sex at some point in their lives, according to Natsal. As for the proportion of men aged 16 to 44 who said they had visited a prostitute in the past five years, that grew from 2 per cent in 1990 to 4 per cent in 2000, but some of this may have been increased willingness to report this activity. Rates have stayed stable since 2000.

Single Londoners aged 25 to 34 are the group most likely to be handing over cash, but this is likely to be because those who live in a cosmopolitan capital will travel more.

Of all men who have paid for sex, two-thirds say they have done so when abroad. Figures for women paying for sex are, unsurprisingly, much lower — in 2010, it was around one in 1,000.


It may surprise you that the people who really want to know about prostitution in Britain work for the Treasury. Because from September 2014, the European Union demanded that the trade in prostitution be included in the assessments of UK Gross National Domestic Product.

According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS) — those tasked with doing the research — there are 61,000 prostitutes in the UK, seeing 25 clients a week, at an average price per visit of £67. That makes 80 million visits a year and £5.3 billion spent on sex.

But it’s likely to be an over-estimate — the number of sex workers was based on London, where there’s a disproportionately high level of prostitution because it’s the biggest city.

It also assumed all sex workers are full-time, which is unlikely. The result? A bill from the EU for £1.7 billion in back- payments because the UK economy was doing better than predicted, partly down to the brisk trade in prostitution. The ONS is revising estimates — I suspect downwards.


While MP Denis MacShane might have claimed in Parliament in 2009 that a staggering 25,000 women had been trafficked into Britain as ‘sex slaves’, a survey of 142 sex premises that year estimated the number to be 2,600 across the whole country.

Sex By Numbers by David Spiegelhalter is published by Profile Books at £12.99. © 2015 David Spiegelhalter. To buy a copy for £11.69 (discount until April 4), visit or call 0808 272 0808. P&P free for limited time only. Adapted by Clare Goldwin. Case study by Sadie Nicholas.

Poll Finds 1 in 5 People Would Have Sex With a Robot

Originally posted on *The Daily Beast

Would you have sex with a robot? If you answered yes, you’re not alone.<


Forget raging against the machine: Some people would rather get nasty with it instead. A new survey has found that one in five U.K.-dwellers would be willing to have sex with robots, marking something of a leap in the realm of digitized romance.Over 2,000 people were quizzed on their attitudes toward androids—with less than favorable results. Forty-six percent of participants said they felt that technology was progressing too quickly, while a third expressed fears that automatons posed a serious threat to humanity. The same number also believed that robots may soon replace key jobs, including those of soldiers, cops and teachers.

Middlesex University’s Professor Martin Smith, who oversaw the study, said, “While many of us worry about the role of technology and machines in modern society, robots are increasingly being developed for important roles that will help protect and improve our lives.” Protecting and improving is one thing, but replacing significant others in the bedroom does seem like a bit of a jump. Sure, a robot may perform all the necessary…functions, but just how much intimacy can be created between a human and a piece of erratically moving machinery?

The transformation of courtship from quaint meet cutes to exchanging crotch-shots with anybody inside a five-mile radius looks like it’s taking its toll, big time. If online dating has already eradicated a huge chunk of the way we develop our capacity for closeness, won’t robotic bedmates make the situation even worse?

“It seems to have got to the stage where people would rather have sex with something that knows exactly what it’s doing, where we know exactly how it will react, and how long it will take, and how good it will be,” adds Anna Hughes, a schoolteacher with a long-term boyfriend. “But this obliterates the excitement of the uncertainty of being with a living person and the risk of it all going wrong, which is big part of having sex with someone in the first place. I’m just glad I got into a relationship before sleeping with C-3PO became the norm.”

Beneath this sisters (and misters)-doing-it-for-themselves shtick, this kind of living could be coming at a hefty price—namely the dissolution of any and all intimacy, ever.

With 46% of those surveyed admitting that they’d either get under the covers with a sexbot or not judge those who choose to, that’s a fair proportion of people prepared to embrace getting dirty with droids. This isn’t a uniquely U.K. trend, though: Sex between live humans has been steadily sloping downwards in numerous countries around the world, including Japan, where nearly half of women aged 16-24 are “not interested in or despise sexual contact.” And this isn’t just a problem across the one gender—there’s also a burgeoning movement called otaku, which denotes the rising number of men opting for relationships with virtual lady friends in the absence of real ones. These so-called “herbivores”—young men who show no carnal desire—also fare badly when it comes to the figures, with 36% professing zero inclination whatsoever in getting it on. Many members of the otaku clan were able to maintain relationships with the opposite sex, but only if they existed in the form of computer games. Which kind of, y’know, isn’t like maintaining a relationship at all.

In a sense, this ever-growing self-reliance we can equip ourselves with is impressive, and looks like a fast track to peak level independence. Beneath this sisters (and misters)-doing-it-for-themselves shtick, though, this kind of living could be coming at a hefty price—namely the dissolution of any and all intimacy, ever. Because it’s one thing to want to make it on your own, but using robotic surrogates for situations that require the warmth of another person, either physically or emotionally, is surely not something we should be casually trading in.

Professor Smith also makes the case for future droids becoming quasi-sentient—with pre-programmed sentience, that is. “Robots will be able to show most, if not all, of the signs and behaviours of emotional intelligence…The robots will not feel, but like actors they will be able to show emotional intelligence.” (Because that’s exactly what we need—more personality-deficient beings to act interested and then not call afterwards.)

With suggestions that these technological advances are only mere decades away, the prospect of normalized automaton sexy-time has never posed so provocatively on the horizon. But let’s not forget that while robots are cool in that play-with-it-a-few-times-before-you-accidentally-semi-break-it-and-then-lock-it-in-a-forgotten-cupboard-for-eternity way, shelling out for a chunk of plastic that’s been programmed to sleep with you is probably a route best avoided.

Women view other women who wear red as more interested in sex , Study shows

*Originally published on

By Meghan Holohan

Ladies, perhaps you pulled on that red dress today because it’s the only clean one in the closet. Maybe you look awesome in red. Or red makes you feel confident. We salute you for rocking red, but other women might not. A new study finds that women think ladies in red are more interested in sex and less faithful than women wearing white or green.

“The color of a woman’s shirt [affects] how men and women think about her,” says Adam Pazda, a social psychologist at the University of Rochester and one of the authors of the study. “Women don’t want other women in red near their boyfriends.”

Picture courtesy of

Previous research has found that men believe women dressed in red are more interested in pursuing sex, regardless of whether they are. Pazda wondered if women shared the same perception about women in red.

Women participated in three different experiments. In the first two, they looked at pictures of women in red and white and in the third they looked at women in red or green. Because white is often associated with purity and virginity, the researchers wanted to examine a color with less emotional baggage.

In the first study, participants looked at a photo of a woman in white and the exact same photo after the color of the dress was manipulated to look red and were asked which woman appeared more receptive to sex. Overwhelmingly, the women believed that the lady in red was promiscuous.

“Women [in red] are perceived as being more interested in sex,” Pazda says.

Watch NBC’s Today Show segment on the study here:

In the second, women looked at the same photos and were asked to how they felt about the women’s fidelity and financial resources. Women were more likely to think that a woman in red would cheat on her partner, but weren’t judgmental about her finances.

“Women will derogate the sexual fidelity but not mundane things [like financial resources],” he says.

For the third study, women looked at the photos where the same woman wore a dress that had been digitally altered to be red or green. The researchers asked if they would introduce their boyfriends to or leave them alone with either woman. Again, women did not want their men around the ladies in red.

“Women are more likely to say that women in red are less faithful,” Pazda says. “They do pick up on the [sexually] receptive cue and what that leads to is some sort of defensiveness.”

The color red evokes sexy thoughts for several reasons, Pazda says. Red often represents love and lust in society. Red roses and hearts are synonymous with Valentine’s Day and amorous feelings. Men historically sought sex in red-light districts. But there’s also a biological reason why red appears sexy.

“When [women] become sexually excited, they blush,” he says.

Whether women are aware that donning red will make them seem interested in sex remains unclear. Women are more likely to wear red when ovulating or looking for a boyfriend or a hook up, Pazda says, but there’s little evidence that women intentionally dress in red for sex.

“We still don’t know if they are aware of it. So that is definitely something to look at.”

Sweeten up your Sex : Why I like Flavored Lubes

As you may know, lubrication is an essential part of sex. Without it, the vagina can become chafed, irritated, and unhappy. While vaginas lubricate themselves naturally during arousal, not all women produce enough of their honey, causing sex to become difficult. According to researchers at the University of California in Santa Barbara, approximately 40% of women in the US have experienced inadequate lubrication during sex — that’s millions of women yelling, “I’m not wet enough!”

Lube isn’t only for people with kinky, gorilla-like sex lives. The reality is that many women have trouble naturally lubricating, leading to uncomfortable and even painful sex. Adding lube can enhance sexy time, whether you need a little help getting wet or are all good to go. Every woman is different, and so is her vagina. Women really want to have sex, but sometimes we can’t get our vaginas on the same page.

There are many different reasons women experience dryness. Any negative emotions during sexual activity can prevent vaginal wetness. Stress can cause the body to produce higher levels of epinephrine, a hormone that interferes with the body’s sexual response cycle and thus impedes vaginal lubrication. Release the gunk harboring your mind! Taking a warm bath, lighting some candles, having a romantic dinner with your partner, and giving each other massages are all effective ways to calm down and set the mood. If you still need a little help to get wet, reach for the lube and massage some onto you and your partner’s fun parts…

The uses for lube are endless! Use it when playing with your sex toys for added pleasure. It is great for hand jobs; the cooling or warming lubes creates the ultimate stimulating sensation. Flavored lubes are super tasty for oral sex, not to cover up taste or smells but to enhance. Moreover, lube is a MUST for anal!

Lube is for everybody, especially with the added bonus of yummy flavors! It can be used to enhance different sensations, regardless of whether you are already wet or not, and should be within an arm’s reach of the bed at all times…

There are tons of great lubes on the market, just remember that not all lubes are created equal, or right for everyone. While lubes with Glycerin, a thick, sweet-tasting, colorless liquid, are an all-natural option, women prone to yeast infections or men prone to UTIs should consider avoiding it due to the sugar. If you are using condoms, avoid petroleum or oil-based lubes, as it can cause latex to deteriorate. Water-based lubricants are a great alternative, though they are sometimes not as thick as the other lubes. There are silicone-based lubes, which can work very well. It is best to experiment to find a lube that works best for you.


Here are some of my favorite lubes…
● Wicked AQUA Mocha Java has a noticeable coffee flavor, mixed with a chocolaty sweetness—like a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. The silky texture allow for smoother motions and thus an enhanced experience for both partners.
● Wicked AQUA Pomegranate has a unique, sweet flavor with a slightly bitter aftertaste, much like its namesake pomegranate. Drive your partner crazy with one of the best oral experiences of his/her life!
● Wicked AQUA Salted Caramel has the sweetness of caramel accompanied by saltiness. The two flavors perfectly complement each other and allow for a rich caramel treat. Why not use it for playful oral sex before a hot love session?
● Wicked AQUA Vanilla Bean is a perfectly sweet treat for yourself while pleasuring your partner. It tastes like silky, smooth vanilla syrup. Use with toys to pleasure yourself, or with your partner for a sensual oral session.
To spice it up a little more, try mixing different flavors for a heavenly session with your partner. My favorite combos are Pomegranate and Vanilla Bean, and Salted Caramel with Mocha Java.

My favorite personal lubricants, and all the lubes mentioned above, are from the Wicked Sensual Care collection. It includes products with glycerin containing only 100% plant-based derivatives, making each vegan and PETA-compliant. The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage—hypoallergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line.

Many women experience vaginal dryness due to a variety of factors (stress, negative emotions, medications, etc.), and inadequate lubrication can lead to irritated and chafed labia and vaginal walls. Lube offers a solution for individuals who don’t lubricate enough, don’t lubricate at all, or simply want a sexy and fun addition to their bedroom sessions.

Don’t hesitate to use lube to smoothen and enrich your sexcapades! Remember, it is always better to have lube and not need it, than need lube and not have it.



*This article originally appeared on as part of a weeklong guest editor gig I had

jessica drake shares her tips in “How to Look Incredible Naked” from


Spray Tan
“I love to spray tan, but I always make sure to exfoliate at home first,” says Jessica Drake, a Wicked Pictures contract star and sex educator. “There are places that do custom airbrushing—even contour abs on your body—or there are booths that you stand in while a machine sprays you. If you’re not ready to commit to that, there are also gradual self-tanner lotions that you can buy in drugstores.” Use latex gloves if you’re self-applying, and take care with easily neglected areas like your feet so that you don’t end up with orange heels.

Read more:

What Women Think About When Making Out (a Guest Blog)

***The following is a guest blog written for the site. I find it provides an interesting perspective I want to share, so I hope you enjoy. XO, jd

After a tumultuous breakup, women often rewind and go back to point A, where it all began – the kiss.  The memories may include a powerful smell of cologne, a faint taste of tobacco and coffee, or the softest lips you ever felt.  Maybe he was sloppy and lacking experience, or perhaps his tongue was too aggressive.  Or maybe all you could think at the time was, “SEX, SEX, SEX!”  The point is when making out, female brains are on high alert.  A kiss is often a foreteller of where things will lead, but we have to know how to read the signs and listen to our own thoughts.

WE ARE KISSING.  Sometimes in the act of kissing this is all I’m thinking.  Like a giddy 14-year-old who has waited 9 weeks for the next step with her first boyfriend, the first kiss feels all the same.  “I never expected him or myself to initiate this, but it’s happening.  It’s happening!”  He likes you, definitely.  Time to parade.

I AM FALLING IN LOVE.  Already.  And we’re thinking about the future: “Wait ‘til I tell my girlfriends about this!”  “Are you going to call me after I leave your car?”  “We’d be a cute couple, picnicking by the lake.”  “Perhaps, we’ll get married.  No, that’s crazy talk!  …We’d have hot children though, with our super genes.”  When we’re kissing, we always want more.  And sometimes it’s not just sex – it’s a phone call the next morning.

WOW HE IS USING A LOT OF TONGUE.  And other thoughts like these.  “Is his hand on my chest– how did that get there?” “My pants are unzipped?  He’s a magician.”  “SLOW DOWN!”  “Am I being too uptight?  I should play it cool.  Maybe I should graze his crotch.”  Tune into your heart, and I’m not being mushy here.  If he’s too aggressive and you’re feeling nervous, tell him to slow down.

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT?  “Does my breath stink?  Fuck, I never quite figured out how to best kiss.  That eHow article said to kiss his jawline.  Oh, biting his lip is supposed to be sexy.  That was awkward… I’ve been kissing the left side for about 3 minutes.  Now to the right.  Shit, we just bumped heads.”  If we’re still kissing, we’re probably doing it right.  Don’t get hung up in the small details, or you might find yourself obsessing over everything in the relationship.

OOPS, HOW DID WE END UP HERE?  “We just had a few drinks!  I barely found you interesting! … Ah, yes, we did have a few drinks.”  “How did we get from talking about the most effective natural detergent to here?”  One word: hormones.  Take a breather and clear your head before moving forward.

WILL THIS LEAD TO SEX?  Kissing stimulates your ovaries to start producing testosterone, which increases sexual excitement.  “This is definitely leading to sex.  Did I shave my vag?”  This is a special moment.  You’re intoxicated by hormones and you just let everything go, including insecurities about your body.

WAIT, WE SHOULD STOP.  “This will not go any further.”  “I want to take things slow.”  “Okay, five more minutes … Two more minutes … Fuck.”  Hahaha… GET LOOSE. 🙂

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX. THAT IS A FACT.  Apparently adrenaline increases while we’re kissing and our inhibitions lower, meaning it’s unlikely we’ll stop to talk about alternative medicine or something.  “I wonder if sex will be good …  Does he have a nice penis?”  If the kissing is good, most likely sex will be even better.

A WANDERING MIND.  “What time is it?”  “Shoot I have to pay my phone bill tomorrow.”  “Game of Thrones tomorrow night!”  “Definitely getting a rash from your stubble.”  “He’s wearing Carlos Santana cologne.  I feel awesome that I know that.  What am I doing again?  Right, kissing!!!”  We’re multi-taskers too.  You kiss and undress us; we kiss and do our taxes.  This is not necessarily a negative thing, but be aware of the fact you aren’t fully caught up in the moment.

While a good first kiss may not always lead to a magical relationship, it’s quite often a bad first kiss is a sign of a lack of chemistry.  I’m a big believer in second chances, but if the spark isn’t there, it may be time to go in search of a new first kiss.

Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size Hits #5 on AVN’s Top 50 Specialty Rentals Chart


Check out the AVN Chart here:


In honor of this I wanted to share some Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size images. Enjoy!

ScarletLevay1 (1)

AngelDeLuca_Scarlet3 (1)
















‘jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size’ Projected to Be Most Successful Installment of Series to Date

Currently in Its 2nd Run, the 1st Sex Instructional
Movie for People of Size Sold Out Shortly Upon Release!   


CHATSWORTH, Calif. (July 31, 2014) – Wicked Pictures’ newest installment of the acclaimed sex instructional DVD series, jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size, is projected to become the series’ most successful volume to date based on the initial response. Now in its second run, Plus Size sold out shortly upon its release. It is the first ever sex instructional movie for people of size.
“We immediately sold out of our initial run of the title and are now in our second run,” said Wicked Pictures President and founder Steve Orenstein. “If the initial sales numbers are an accurate indication of the demand for this in the market, I believe  ‘GTWS: Plus Size’ is going to do very well. To become the best selling title in our educational line is especially noteworthy because this genre does exceptional.”
Orenstein added, “The title’s success is a credit to jessica, Kelly Shibari, and the entire team behind the production of this immensely popular installment of jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex.
Co-directed by sexual wellness authority and Wicked Pictures contract star jessica drake and BBW performer and size acceptance advocate Kelly Shibari, the film was released on June 25 to much acclaim. It offers sex tips and communication exercises for men, women, and couples of size, as well as bonus demonstrations and sex scenes with plus size performers.
“Creating this new edition of the series focusing on sex positive education for people of size was really a labor of love for Kelly, me, and our amazingly open cast and talented crew. I’m grateful it’s been so well received by fans and reviewers alike!” drake said.
To view and download the front and back box art for jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size, click here.
jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size is the first sex education DVD created for the plus size community. The movie’s cast includes beautiful BBW performers Devlyn Red, Angel DeLuca, and Scarlet LaVey, as well as real-life couples Scarlette Cyn and JC Lewis, and Sherri Shaulis and Michael Colbert; it showcases women of a diverse range of BBW sizes, ranging from size 14 – 24. In addition to narrating much of the project, Kelly Shibari also performs in one of the full-length sex scenes featured in the film, with award-winning actor / director and radio personality Derrick Pierce.
Already the critics have shown their support for the title such as, which wrote, “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size is a nicely done instructional release. I really like that Wicked decided to expand this series with subjects like this, and they did a great job choosing Kelly Shibari to lead it.” While Mr. Will of wrote: “Kelly Shibari and jessica drake teamed up to crank this one out, and quite frankly they knocked it out of the f*cking park. Bases loaded, smacked it out of the park, game over folks.”
The movie takes viewers through a variety of topics, from relationship communication, discussion of trigger words and acceptable terminology between partners, size-friendly sex positions, and body confidence exercises. Three full-length sex scenes featuring optional audio commentary are offered at the film’s conclusion. Interviews with plus-size adult performers, as well as couples, are an integral part of the project. They provide a non-xxx look into the issues confronted by plus size women, men, and couples, and offer solutions to increase confidence and combat negative stereotypes.
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About jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex:
Three-time AVN Best Actress winner and sexual wellness authority jessica drake brings erotic topics to life through intimate demonstrations performed by some of today’s hottest adult stars in her “Guide to Wicked Sex” series. The stimulating sequences are sensual, provocative and enlivened by an informative optional audio commentary. In each volume of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex,” writer, producer, director, and host jessica drake addresses a different aspect of human sexuality, ranging from Fellatio and Anal to Basic Positions and Female Masturbation. jessica explores each topic with the same distinct blend of knowledge, experience, and good humor, which led Dee Dennis, the founder of sexuality conference CatalystCon, to praise her as “an amazing sex educator and speaker, who represents a new direction and is breaking new ground” in the sexual self-help genre. The series’ volume on Fellatio earned AVN’s 2012 Best Educational Release trophy, “Anal” was named XBIZ’s 2012 Specialty Release of the Year, “Anal Sex for Men” received AVN’s 2014 Best Educational Release award. For more information, visit,, or
About Kelly Shibari:
From her background in design and construction in mainstream film and television production, to performing in front of the camera as the sexually charged figurehead for chubby Asian girls everywhere, Kelly Shibari is a stereotype-breaking tour-de-force. Holding the distinct honor of being the only plus-sized performer ever molded for a Fleshlight, Kelly is also the face of harness company SpareParts Hardwear®’s plus size line, and made sexy pop culture media site Fleshbot’s Top Ten Crush Object List for 2013. Her self-produced, self-marketed DVD, Kelly Shibari is Overloaded, was nominated for both XBIZ and AVN, not just for the DVD itself but also for its marketing campaign. Kelly was named 2013 BBW Performer of the Year at EXXXOTICA’s fan-based awards, “The Fannys,” and also named Best BBW Performer at the 2013 NightMoves Awards. Most recently, Kelly made history and gained international media attention as the first-ever plus size model ever to grace the cover of Penthouse Magazine’s Penthouse Forum. For more information, visit,, and
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