How to Discover the Dirty Things Your Girl Wants To Do In Bed

Originally posted on *Ask Men

People in relationships often don’t ask each other to do certain things simply because they are too shy to bring it up. This goes for both guys and girls: We fear that our partners might think we are a bit too weird.

Your girlfriend could be into some pretty wild stuff, but she might be worried that you’ll think she’s perverted or that it is out of her nature. And you most likely have the desire to try something new, but you might fear she’ll think you’re a freak or a weirdo or — worst of all — unmanly. The thing is, a few lewd (but tactful) suggestions can go a long way, so don’t be afraid to be brave sometimes. Of course, some things are going to be completely out of the question for you or her, but this is something you can discuss: Where and what are your limits? What would you do, and definitely not do? Communication is always the best pathway to the best sex of your life, so get talkin’!

To get you inspired, this article will provide you with a list of naughty things many girls are secretly into. Don’t be shy to ask her if she has fantasized or thought about trying one of the acts listed below. But before you try something new in the bedroom, you need to break the routine patterns that dominate your relationship on every level.

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Break the routine

Before you try out your “new thing,” break the spell of routine outside of your sex life by doing something nonroutine together. For example, if you come home and watch TV for three hours together every night, go for a walk for an hour and get some ice cream instead. If it’s too cold for that, play a game of cards. You get the drift; it doesn’t matter what it is, just make sure you haven’t done it for the past 30 days straight. Breaking the cycles in your lives will leave you both open to fresh thoughts and actions in the bedroom.

This is great for your relationship anyway, as no one likes to do the same thing week in and week out. Life can be long and boring enough as it is without encouraging your own closest relationship to become stale. Appreciate each other by showing interest in different activities, and you will hopefully be rewarded with an open mind and body when you pop the question about trying one of the sexual activities listed below.

Having sex in a public place

Having sex in a public place is a huge turn-on for many women because it’s just so naughty. Public doesn’t mean “right out on the street in front of everyone to see”; it generally means somewhere discreet, but very much in the public domain. From cars to public toilets to the library, the possibilities are endless… a park, an alleyway, a crowded bus… all these places offer the thrill of debauchery, but you can do it without anyone really actually knowing what you are doing. If you do get caught, the giggles will be worth it unless, of course, you get arrested! Even so, you can add your mug shots to your photo album.

The key to having sex in public is to keep it decent. This means wearing appropriate clothing for easy access, and keeping the huffs, puffs and squeals down. Your thrills may not thrill too many other people.

If you think your girl is not into anal, you could be wrong…

Anal sex

Despite living in the 21st century, many people are still afraid of anal sex — this includes men. With the right care taken and plenty of lube, anal sex can be extremely pleasurable and fun. Even though it’s had its taboo pass revoked in recent years due to popular demand, not everyone has tried it… or tried it and liked it.

The anal area has millions of nerve endings within its fine walls, and you can even have anal orgasms. The sensation is different to vaginal sex, so it provides a pleasant change when you want to try something new.

The male G-spot (prostate gland) is in the anal canal, and there are special tools (prostate massagers) you can use to provoke what is commonly referred to as “the super O.” Whole body orgasms are possible, which stem not from the penis, but from the abdomen and prostate, ricocheting through the body; a deeply moving experience,  if you are keen on trying one.

Filming it

Making your own dirty sex tape can be a very sexy way to spend intimate time with your lover. It takes a bit of courage to do this, but it will provide much quality material later on for fantasies. It does take a reasonable dose of trust, so use your scruples, and don’t abuse her faith — that means don’t show your mates, don’t sell it on the internet (or give it away for free!) and don’t tell anyone without prior permission.

It is easy enough to get out your video phone these days and do a bit of amateur filming at the blink of an eye, so make use of new technologies. It doesn’t have to be a fully set up porn scene, just film yourselves together doing something you both like, then you can look at it later when you need a hand…

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Going to a strip club together

This is a brave step for many women, but today’s wonderfully modern woman doesn’t want to be a prude, so your girl may just be delighted if you asked her to come along to a strip club. It doesn’t have to be with all your drooling, horny mates (safety in numbers), just you and your girl checking it out together.

Women really do love to admire other women’s beautiful bodies, and we all wish to Venus that we could dance like that. Yes women envy other women, but on the whole, it is an arousing and attractive experience for a female to watch other females being sexy. All that bare, naked flesh and beautiful lingerie… just keep your hands to yourself, and make sure you pay your girl sufficient attention like a gentleman should.

You are not out with your mates, so don’t act like it. She’ll be paying attention to how you gaze at the girls, so try to keep cool and put more of your focus on your girlfriend.

Experimenting with light bondage

Being tied up is erotic because it begins a power game. If you tie me up, you have the power. If I tie you up, I have the power. Bondage doesn’t have to be whips and chains and gimp masks, it can be as simple as knotting her panties around her wrists with the bed post in between so she is at your mercy.

Sheets and underwear do nicely. You don’t need any fancy rope or handcuffs — though these are always nice and they make a suggestive gift if you want to bring up such antics discreetly. Keep ties firm but not too tight, and the golden rule is if you are going to play rough, have a safe word so even if you are role playing and pretending to hate what she is doing to do you, if at any time you become uncomfortable and actually do want to stop, you can say the magic word and she’ll let you go.

Playing dress up

Naughty knickers spice up your sex life. I’m not talking about a pair of black and red frillies here; I’m talking about proper dress ups. Maid or nurse outfits, male and female stripper outfits, policeman and fireman uniforms, anything your combined imaginations can conjure up. Ask her to pick a fantasy man for you to dress up as, and then you get to do the same with her. It’s loads of fun and gives you both the opportunity to safely delve a little deeper into your fantasy worlds.

Some Tips

  • Don’t: Rush into it. Sometimes a girl has to talk about her fantasy for months and months before she feels ready and willing to actually try it.
  • Don’t: Suggest something energetic when you both don’t have much energy, like after a big day at work or during an emotionally stressful time.
  • Don’t: Try to push her out of her comfort zone and don’t let her do the same to you. Trying new things is all well and good, but being coerced into something you are not comfortable with is damaging.
  • Do: Make an effort with the atmosphere. Depending on what you’re trying out, pay attention to your surroundings and whether they provide the best atmosphere for the mood you’re going for. Make the atmosphere conducive to new and interesting things.
  • Do: Make an effort with your appearance. If you want to get your girlfriend to try something new, you need to keep your end of the bargain and keep yourself well-groomed. That way she won’t feel like she’s the one making all of the effort.

Try something new

There are so many new things to try out when it comes to your sex life, even if you think you’ve tried it all, try it again, in a different color, with a different flavor or in a different place. If you feel like you aren’t getting the most out of your sexual adventures due to shyness, be brave! Be suggestive, talk about things you would both like to do; you will be surprised at what comes out. Don’t ever forget that the best sex comes to those who communicate.

Let’s Make A Sex Tape – What to Remember When Creating Your Sex Tape

The movie Sex Tape, starring Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel, teaches us a valuable lesson, beware of the iCloud. In the prehistoric VHS era, creating a sex tape used to be low-risk, since the tape was physical, bury-able, and nuke-able. The innocent, and slightly naive, couple in Sex Tape reflects how tech-savvy suburbanites may neglect to consider the hands their XXX movie may fall into, like parents, bosses, or the NSA. What I’m saying is, I’m a porn star. People see me have sex– no surprises. But others, like people who are using their iPad to record themselves in the act, should remember to be responsible and fully aware of how their video may end up on the Internet. This being said, creating a sex tape can feel outrageously liberating and sexually rewarding. Knowing you’re being filmed forces you and your partner to love more consciously and up your performance… so, here are steps for to remember to ensure a smooth and delicious sex tape experience:

Read the contract and sign an anti-release form. This does not have to be written, but it is mandatory to understand the potential consequences of making a sex tape. First, if you upload it onto a computer, there’s a chance of a third party viewer. Second, anyone who acquires it may use it as blackmail. To prevent the viral spread of your home video, only share it between you and your partner and make a promise to never upload the video online. In the event of a break-up, also promise to mutually destroy the video. Alternatively, record the sex, play it back, and immediately delete it. If you have smartphone, Google Glass Sex is an app that lets you watch and record yourself having sex and automatically deletes the footage five hours later.

Be the artistic director of your scene. Consider wearing costumes for some hot role-playing, such as doctor and patient, or student and teacher.Will your character need a prop? Think about incorporating sex toys into your video, such as a vibrating dildo or a whip, for sexual fun and variance. Also think about the angle and position of your camera. Do you want to see all balls or a close-up of two steaming bodies? Having two cameras is particularly useful because one can focus on you while the other focuses on your partner. This will allow you and your partner to watch each other at the same time after recording.

Improvise your scene. I know this totally goes against my last point. However, I want to stress the importance of relaxing and having fun– this video is for you and your partner, a celebration of each other’s love or adept sexual prowess. Making a sex tape should be a zero-pressure production. After solidifying your partner’s consent, remember what happens next is only for the pleasure of you and your partner, as opposed to a worldwide porn-viewing audience. While the film is rolling, consciously kiss, lick, penetrate, and gaze at each other. Think about how much you two enjoy seeing each other’s bodies. If you’re really nervous and feel like having a drink or two to take the edge off, that’s fine, but don’t go too far…  Remembering the experience is as fun as watching your movie. Another option if you’re nervous is to turn off the camera and simply pretend it’s on.

Now it’s time to watch. Now you get to watch the growing trust and intimacy between you and your partner during and after the creation of your sex tape. Filming a normally private activity, like sex, is exhilarating to watch over and over again. In fact, maybe you two could re-watch your tape while having sex… meta-sex.

Thank you for reading!

xo,

jd