Sex Positions – Doggy Will Make You Beg for More

As I’ve previously mentioned, altering your positions in the bedroom is one of the easiest ways to recapture the romantic spark.  The most basic of positions can be changed slightly to provide different sensations and orgasms.  There are even ways to modify the doggy position, which is one of my all time favorites.

 

Though doggy style is considered a male dominant position, a benefit for women is the ability to push back against the man’s thrusts, as well as control over grinding motions on the man’s penis.  Men have the advantage of a great view, plus they get both hands free for all sorts of enjoyable activities, from holding his lover’s waist to rubbing her clitoris, or even pulling her hair or spanking her… if she’s into that sort of sex play.

 

The first way to modify doggy is by the man pulling the woman up towards him, so her back is close to vertical.  This frees up her hands, while allowing the man the opportunity to pull her close.  The angle of penetration is very different here – not as deep as regular doggy style.

 

Alternatively, when the woman is slightly bent over face down in doggy, she isn’t supporting her body quite as much and is able to easily stimulate her clitoris or his testicles.  It also gives her the opportunity to incorporate the use of sex toys on herself or her partner.

 

A completely flat doggy style provides an amazing feeling.  The woman can now squeeze her legs together to increase the friction and tightness.  This in turn forces her pubic bone and clitoris down, allowing for grinding.

 

For those with the desire to try something more acrobatic, there is the wheelbarrow doggy.  In this position, the woman starts off on all fours on the edge of the bed.  As her lover enters her from behind, he raises her legs to wrap them around his waist.  He is now able to control the angle and the depth of penetration.  This requires more upper body strength from the man, but can also be a great substitute for going to the gym.

 

The doggy position can also travel off the bed.  The standing doggy is great for sex in the shower or during a quickie in public.  Couples can experiment with putting one of the woman’s legs up.  This position allows for increased clitoral stimulation and gives the man a great view.

 

Standing doggy style can also be accomplished with the woman on both of her legs, but bending over something, like a desk or the back of a couch.  This variation provides a feeling of submission some women are very fond of.  It’s also a great way for the man to hold his hips in place for a nice, rhythmic, dependable thrusting.  The woman can spread her legs far apart or hold them close together to change the feeling.

 

While doggy style is commonly associated as the go-to position for anal sex (for a good reason), it is also a fantastic way to stimulate the clitoris and the vagina in a multitude of ways and degrees.  Doggy may not offer the intimacy of the missionary position by being face-to-face, but there’s plenty of time to mix in both positions during sex.

 

For more variations and visuals on the doggy position, as well as detailed account of other positions, please consider viewing Guide to Wicked Sex: Basic Positions.

 

XO,

jd

Blow his Mind and…. Other Useful Advice!

Hi jessica, thank you for answering my question. I have a pretty good sex life with my husband of 10 years. We are lucky enough to be going on our second honeymoon this spring to a romantic cottage in the Bahamas. What can I do to turn the heat up and blow his mind? Ashleigh, 41, Atchison, Kansas

HI Ashleigh-

First of all, congrats. Ten years is a great milestone, and what better way to celebrate with a second honeymoon, without all the stress of planning a wedding right beforehand, and in the Bahamas, no less!

Because  this is your tenth year of wedded bliss, you guys are very comfortable with each other…maybe a little TOO comfortable. This is your chance to shake things up a bit, and hopefully he has plans up his sleeve as well. The first step is packing for such an adventure. Here are some things that you might want to include:

“Sizzling hot packing list”

sexy lingerie

very high heels

a jersey of his favorite sports team

his “fantasy” outfit- something that you know really gets him going

lube. lots of lube.

a few porn DVDs- lots of resorts will be able to offer you a DVD player.

toys- vibrators with extra batteries, a blindfold, some massage oil

an iPod with great songs for striptease/seduction/sex along with mini speakers

scented candles

scarves for bondage

The items listed above are a great starting point, you’ll want to personalize the list according to what you guys are into…or what you may want to try. It might be fun to visit an adult store together before your trip, or you could surprise him and just tuck the extra “sex bag” in with your luggage. And don’t be embarrassed about airport security- trust me, they’ve seen far more shocking things. (hey, i fly a lot, remember?)

Once you are there, allow yourself a little time to settle in and relax. Once it sinks in that the two of you are ALONE with no distractions in a gorgeous tropical location, do what comes naturally! Shed those clothes, slip into a bathing suit, oil up, and get ready to soak up some rays…but right before you walk out the door, give your partner the best surprise blow job ever. That can set the tone for your entire trip.

As for the rest of your sensual getaway, here are a few suggestions to get you on your way:

give him a sexy lap dance to his favorite song(s), and then as you strip, slowly back away and head for the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes for him to follow.

take a candlelit bath together with a bottle of wine. wash each other. afterwards, dry each other off and grab the massage oil!

watch an adult movie together and act out something you’ve always wanted to try

get dressed up separately, and “pick each other up” like strangers at the bar of your resort. Give him your extra room key and tell him to meet you upstairs in 10 minutes. wait for him in the bed, putting one of those vibrators you packed to good use.

make on night “all about him” and do anything he tells you to do (within reason) let him direct what you wear, what you take off, what you touch, what you don’t. this exchange of control will drive you both wild.

the next night, it’s your turn. now he’s at your beck and call.

Have breakfast in bed. don’t use silverware, and don’t feed yourself. only each other.

This is a great place to try something you’ve never dared to before- whether it’s anal sex, some bondage, you name it. Part of your planning this second honeymoon could involve you taking him out for a nice, romantic dinner, and telling him about something you’d like to do when you are in the Bahamas. This is also a really good way to start the foreplay from thousands of miles away and build anticipation for what’s to come. (pun intended)

Enjoy yourselves and each other. You’ve earned it!

xoxo,

jd

Traveling Orgasms

We are going to London, Paris and Amsterdam for 2 weeks for our honeymoon. Do you know which trains are the best for “privacy” ? Alex, 27, Yuma, Arizona

Alex-

Making love on a train is on my bucket list. You are both very lucky. I have my eye set on The Orient Express (which happens to run from London to Paris, by the way) But no matter what train you choose, i’d say the only way you’ll definitely be feeling the rumbling of the cars on the tracks during your sweet love-making is if you splurge and get a private cabin…and better yet, if you can afford it, a “presidential” style suite so that you have room for more than just missionary position. Doggy would be ideal, but face the windows to take in the “other” gorgeous scenery.

xoxo,

jd

Memorable Honeymoon

My boyfriend has worked so hard to help us afford our dream wedding. What are some things I can do to make my honeymoon (hint hint) memorable? Caroline 25, Oklahoma City, OK

Caroline-

what a great question! I think that honeymoons can be a lot like Christmas- it’s something you guys have anticipated for so long, and after all the stress of planning a wedding and working so hard to pay for it, you frantically get to the honeymoon portion and it just flies by. That’s why it’s so very important to create memories and share experiences that will last you a lifetime.

How do you do that? Well, it really depends on where you guys choose to go, and then from there, it’s all about the experiences.Do things together that you wouldn’t normally get the chance to do back home. Outdoor activities- take tours, try a sport, see what type of those things your resort or hotel has to offer. Pick up a city guide for the area- both Lonely Planet and Frommer’s are great- and explore as a couple. One of the best ways to get closer to someone is to bond over new shared experiences. Take lots of pictures and video! Kiss at every landmark that you visit, or at historic or popular intersections. Make out in the back of a taxi. Feed each other at a local cafe while you people watch. and just when you can’t take it anymore, head back to your honeymoon suite for…

Memorable honeymoon sex! Some people say that having sex when you’re married is somehow different, that things change. Make that a change for the better. Spend time indulging your partner in his/her fantasies. You have a whole vacation to seduce them, with little or no distractions. My best advice is to go for it- and bring lots of lube. (though visiting an adult store on your honeymoon could be lots of fun too, just look one up online!) 

And remember, just because the honeymoon ends doesn’t mean honeymoon sex has to. When you return home, even months later, wear the same lingerie, the same perfume, or play the same song that was playing during some memorable lovemaking and remind him or her of the amazing time that you shared together, and start those juices flowing again and again. 

xoxo,

jd

Keeping Sex HOT After the Wedding

I’ve heard from many of my friends that sex fizzles after the wedding. What can I do to make sure this doesn’t happen to us? John, 32, Trenton, NJ

Hi John,

I don’t think it’s that the sex “fizzles” as it is that other things (reality!) get in the way of continuing the honeymoon phase. The good news is that by acknowledging that this may one day be a problem, you’re already being proactive about it.

In time, husbands and wives find that everyday things just seem to take over their lives- jobs, taking care of the house, the kids, paying bills- and they are left feeling more like roommates than anything else. How do you bring the passion back? Well, it’s better that you never lose it in the first place…and this is something that requires a little time and effort. You can equate this to regular maintenance on your car, like an oil change. It takes a little time, but it’s the kind of thing that, left neglected, can cause your car’s engine to overheat and throw a rod, and then it’s totaled. All because you didn’t prevent a little problem from getting bigger.

How do you do this? Take time with your partner, no matter what. Have a weekly date night. Touch base with each other during your busy days, even if it’s with a phone call or text. Set your alarm 15 minutes early so that you can have a coffee together…and by coffee, i mean quickie.

Romance your significant other. Pursue them the way you did when you were dating. One of the biggest complaints women have is that they no longer feel “special”. You may think, “Of COURSE you’re special, I made you my wife, didn’t I?” but nothing can replace the feeling that she is truly wanted. Tell her how beautiful she is, how much she turns you on, all the little things that she does that you find so sexy. Whisper those sweet (and dirty!) nothings in her ear. It will go a long way. In bed, don’t let it get to be an automatic routine. Watch a sexy movie together. Buy her some lingerie. Dress up like a cowboy or policeman or fireman, if that’s her fantasy. Be open to new things, and really try to explore each other’s desires.

I think the most important thing that ties it all together is communication. Make your wife/husband the person that you can really talk to. NO matter if it’s serious or trivial, your likes or dislikes, turn ons, pet peeves, dreams, hopes, ideas, fears, whatever. Just talk. Every so often it’s also a great idea to have what I call a “State of the Union” talk- your chance to get out (in a non-confrontational way) things that you love or things that you may want to change.

All of the things I’ve discussed above will help you keep up that bond that will keep your relationship, and in turn your sex life thriving.

xo

jess

 

 

Slip of the Tongue

“I accidentally called my girlfriend my ex’s name in bed. Wtf do I do now?”   -anon. 27

Real Guy says:

Wow, is your passport up to date? Just kidding.  Assuming your gf is in your age range, the best explanation is that a slip of the tongue is natural, especially if your breakup was fairly recent. We get into habits, and those habits take time to break. In the heat of passion, frequently the mouth speaks before the brain processes. If your current girl is taking it real personally, it’s gonna cost you. Treat her to her favorite dinner or a spa day, along with a lot of reassurance that she’s the only one in your life. I’ve been on both ends of this event, and each time I was able to laugh it off. Good thing my partner was equally understanding.

Sex on the First Date?

“It’s the age-old question… How long do I wait before I have sex with a new guy I’m dating? Do guys really think less of girls that have sex on the first date?”   -Ellie, 22

Real Guy says:

The length of time should depend on your view of sex. If you look at sex as a purely physical act, which gets better as emotion becomes attached, then I say, “go for it”. If sex is more meaningful, then it’s best to wait until you’re ready, regardless of what his little head makes his big head say in the heat of passion. However, there are guys who will wait no longer than x number of dates, and if the sex hasn’t happened, they move on. Guys will wonder if you don’t like sex, and this is a sign of what’s to come. Even worse, they may think you’re holding out just so they’ll spend huge amounts of money first. As to your last question, guys call girls back because they like them personally. If you’ve had sex and the phone doesn’t ring, he wasn’t all that into you, or wasn’t interested in a relationship. You’ve probably heard this before, but at 22, a serious relationship isn’t something you should be interested in. You have many things to get out of your system (school, career, travel, friends, etc.), and statistically speaking, the odds that the next guy you have sex with will be your true “forever guy”, are astronomically against you. Best to play the odds.

Truth in Advertising

“What do men look for in an online dating profile? I’m new to this, and I don’t want to screw it up.”  -Christine, 40

Real Guy says:

The first thing I look at are photos, and they should be recent. If you don’t have any, have a friend take them for you. Include flattering poses, and at least one full length. No sense trying to deceive someone here, because he’ll know the truth as soon as you meet. Next, I look at the number of children involved, and whether a woman wants more. If you want kids (or more kids), be proud of your choice, and say so in the profile. If the potential mate doesn’t want kids, better to find out now than in six months. Lastly, I look at interests. There are some things I want to do with a partner, and some I can do or prefer to do, alone. Treat your profile like a job interview…for life. Present yourself in a positive light, brag a little, and keep the negatives to a minimum. Read a few profiles of women similar to you in looks, and ask yourself, “Is this someone I’d want to meet”? If so, why? Take a few notes. Good luck!

Once a cheater, always a cheater?

“I met my wife when she was dating someone else. She cheated on him with me. We’ve been married for 3 years, and now I think she’s seeing someone on the side. Do you believe in the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater”? How can I tell for sure?”  -Marcos, 33

Real Guy says:

Personally Marcos, I think you’re asking this question three years too late. But since we can’t jump into a time machine, let’s address your concerns. What’s making you think she’s cheating? Has she changed her routine, lost weight, or bought clothes when she normally doesn’t? Has her sex drive cooled drastically? Does she stay up late on the computer or texting on her phone? If you just have a “feeling”, I wouldn’t call the divorce lawyer just yet. If you’re trying to catch her cheating, or gather evidence, there are many things you can do. You can put a GPS tracker on her car, a keystroke recording program on her computer, or (if you have a lot of money) hire a detective. If you insist on catching her, a visit to your local spy store, or one online, will give you more ideas. I’ve always looked at it much simpler; If I thought someone was cheating, I didn’t need to prove it. To me, the relationship was broken and it was time to move on. Once I no longer trust a woman, I don’t need to spend my hard-earned money to justify leaving.

jessica drake on “Real Sex with the Morning X” – 97X, Tampa Bay’s New Rock Alternative

Drew, Seth and Danielle from the Morning X Show in Tampa talk with sex expert and adult star jessica drake about her line of instructional DVDs, “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex.”  jessica offers the hosts fun and accessible advice on how to improve their sex lives… or in Drew’s case, the key to better self pleasuring.

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