The mutual satisfaction transmitted through giving and receiving a massage satisfies desires ultimately rooted in the inner psyche. Many forms of erotic Tantric practices address this subject in great detail and assign it a seemingly endless series of labels. For our purposes, we’ll invoke the simple phrase “massage” as a sort of mnemonic catch-all. My goal in doing this is to liberate erotic massage from any specific cultural or spiritual tradition, and have you look instead at the principles of arousal that work universally within all of our bodies – and souls.
For some, tantric sex, at least the modern Western variation of tantra, is what first comes to mind when the subject turns to sensual massage. But as is often the case when East Meets West in the area of sex, misconceptions and misinterpretations are all too common. Tantric sex practices are incredibly diverse; from techniques designed to align the physical body with one’s desires and emotions, to exercises specifically aimed at taking one’s partner to the brink of ecstasy and beyond.
So men, whether you’re out to impress a new lady in your life, or looking to explore new regions of pleasure with your longtime companion, here are some fairly universal basics that take you both where you want to go…
Your sensual “pleasure chest” should always have these essentials: massage oils and towels, as well as select lubricants and enhancers like those contained in our Wicked Sensual Care collection. You’ll likely want to keep some baby wipes handy as well.
Once you initiate a massage with your partner, take it slow. Take your time and don’t rush into more overt sexual foreplay. Give her an actual tissue massage before becoming more intimate. Start softly, gently, and begin by applying the lotions to your hands first, rather than directly to her skin. As you use your hands, also lubricate your arms and chest, integrating as much of your torso into your massage as you can.
At this point, you’ll very likely find her extremely responsive to your kisses, nipple rubs, etc. Entering her vagina with your fingers will put a reservoir of pleasure within your grasp. We have a volume of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex” devoted to the “The G-Spot” that acts as a perfect tutorial in how to pleasure a woman to blissful orgasm.
With the skills you develop through viewing the DVD, you’ll be on your way to creating rewarding massage experiences regularly. And should you become interested in “digging deeper,” metaphysically speaking, such disciplines as the Tantric Vama Marga tradition are rich in lore, tips, and tricks that will take your erotic explorations ever higher.
Some find Vama Marga too intellectually rigorous for the bedroom, yet still wish to amplify the spiritual side of their lovemaking. In these cases I encourage adventurous lovers to explore the Vajrayana Tantrism of Tibet. This particular Buddhist tradition offers a plethora of useful techniques, positions, and perspectives in which the philosophical content doesn’t get in the way of the sensuality, but is there if you want it. It also employs a more universal approach to sensual fulfillment; hacking away at excessive dogma, while preserving the sensuality inherent to the core practices.
Whether you and your lover seek to blend your sex lives with the more contemplative sides your relationship, or are simply eager to rekindle the “flame,” you’ll find sensual massage puts a higher sexual union within reach.