The Art of Seduction: Seducing Women

Throughout history the term seduction carried with it a negative connotation.  Seducing a person meant leading them astray of their virtuous path, often in a sexual manner.  Eve seduced Adam with a metaphoric apple.  Casanova seduced so many ladies, his name has now become synonymous with “womanizer,” not a flattering term.  In the mid 1900s, you could even be charged with the crime of seduction, like Frank Sinatra was.


More recently, seduction has also taken on a positive definition.  Seduction can mean the act of flirting with or charming another person regardless of whether sex is the ultimate goal… though it often still is.


There is an art to seduction.  Women and men respond to different forms of seduction, and of course every person responds differently within their generalized group.  For the sake of this blog, it is necessary to generalize though.  We’ll touch on seducing men another time (and no, it isn’t as simple as showing our breasts… usually).  Right now, our focus is going to be how to seduce a woman, whether you are a man or a woman.


Here are some of my tips for seducing a woman:


Actions Speak Louder than Words.  It’s fine to relay to her how you want to run your hand through her hair, take her out to a nice restaurant, or kiss her like she’s never been kissed before, but ultimately the time will come for you to stop talking and to actually make good on your rhetoric: flowers, door holding, and a passionate kiss that leaves her weak in the knees.

Always Be Confident, Even When You’re Nervous.  I still get nervous when I see a woman I’m attracted to – it’s only natural.  Being a little nervous is even cute to many women, as long as you are showing confidence, like you deserve to be standing there with them.  It’s okay to have a sweaty palm as long as you displayed the confidence to reach out and take her hand.

Pay Attention to Detail.  Noticing her new outfit or haircut can go a long way towards putting you on a woman’s radar.  The same attention to detail is true with her body language.  If you see her shiver, offer her a coat.  These gestures show her she is a priority.

Compliment Her.  Complimenting someone, especially a woman you are attracted to, is an art unto itself.  Compliments must be well thought out.  Too many compliments and you risk being construed as insincere.  Too general of compliments, and you come off as contrived.  Think of compliments as a way to ease her insecurities.  They should also be tailored to the specific woman.  Using sensory words like “feel,” “smell,” and “taste” help make the compliments even more personal: “I love how soft your hair feels and how it smells like strawberries.”

Her Pleasure Comes First.  Seduction doesn’t stop once you get her in the bedroom, otherwise you may not find yourself invited a second time.  By always putting her first, whether it’s giving her the last bite of dessert or the first orgasm, you are showing her she is the most important thing to you, similar to the tip to pay attention to detail.


Perhaps the single best tip I can give you about seduction, especially seducing a woman, is not to treat it like a game.  There’s no bigger turn off than the feeling of being played or like you’re a statistic – besides, in games there are only one winner.  If all goes well while trying to seduce a woman who has caught your eye, you will both be winners.


50 Shades of Sex on Film: From Reel to Real

As I view the public’s love affair with the Fifty Shades of Grey novels, it’s becoming obvious that couples everywhere are hungry for more sexually explicit entertainment. E.L. James’ paperback trilogy chronicles the stormy sexual relationship between a young woman and a successful businessman. It’s become a marketing phenomenon, as likely to crop up on the shelves of your local Wal-Mart as it is the Hustler Store. Daring in its frankness, the series explores a broad range of sexual expression, covering everything from dominance and submission to discipline and light bondage. It’s obvious to me that the public is hungry for sexual information – and entertainment – like never before.


And that’s because erotic books, just like erotic films, can stimulate and inspire the sex lives of couples by introducing them to positive depictions of safe and exciting techniques and positions. And DVDs are uniquely able to stimulate desire and arousal through everything from the use of attractive performers and locations to subtle touches like seductive music, dirty talk and exotic lingerie and costumes.


Whether you’re exploring undiscovered territory with a new partner or looking to bring a new slant to a long-term relationship, just follow the tips below to get the most out of your experience of together.


The voyeuristic thrill of watching other couples making love should be just the beginning of your journey.  Let your experience be all-encompassing; in addition to sampling some of the positions you’re viewing together, let the soundtrack inspire you to become more vocal and communicative.


If you and your significant other are new to X-rated movies, you might want to sample our Wicked Passions DVD line. Each installment tells a warm, female-friendly story that emphasizes the importance of honesty and communication in finding happiness in the bedroom.


Making love is about stimulating all of the senses – seeing and hearing others having sex will excite the body physically, intellectually and emotionally. Introducing massage oils and other lubricants can allow you to heighten this experience even further and improve your partner’s comfort and sexual satisfaction. I highly recommend using the Wicked Sensual Care Collection of luxurious lubricants to enhance your intimate adventures.


Whether you choose to take it fast or slow, enrich your sex life and that of your lover by following these tips on your next movie night!

50 Ways to Seduce Your Lover

50 Ways to Seduce Your Lover is a quick reference guide to set the stage for intimacy.  Morning, noon or night, your partner will be delighted with these simple ideas that let them know you’re in the mood.  Flatter your lover with desire and the sentiment will be returned more times than not.  These tips can be done at home or on the road, they are simple, easy on the budget and very effective.  Pick one that appeals to you and let the games begin.

    1. Role Play  (i.e. nurse, cheerleader, the beautiful stranger)
    2. Send him sexy pictures via text
    3. Give him/her a sensual massage with oil
    4. Give him the  remote control to your vibrating panties
    5. Go commando
    6. Set the stage to have an adult movie playing when he gets home from work
    7. Wear lingerie

  1. Send suggestive texts
  2. Join your partner in the shower
  3. Go to bed naked
  4. Wake him/her up with oral sex
  5. Walk around the house naked
  6. Perform a strip tease
  7. Read erotica to each other
  8. Watch an Xrated movie together and copy what they’re doing on the screen
  9. Kiss their neck
  10. Go bra-less
  11. Smile / wink
  12. Masturbate in front of your mate
  13. Share a sexual fantasy
  14. Slip a pair of panties in his briefcase
  15. Bite your lip
  16. Wear his shirt with nothing else
  17. Wear his favorite perfume
  18. Show up naked in a trench coat
  19. Surprise him with a Lap Dance
  20. Suck her/his fingers or toes
  21. Do your early morning yoga naked
  22. Breakfast in bed that he can eat off of you
  23. Reach under the dinner table and gentle run your fingers over the outline of his cock
  24. Sneak him into the dressing room at a store as you’re trying on clothes for a quickie
  25. Drop something right in front of him, bend over and graze your butt against his cock
  26. Oral Sex in the car while driving
  27. Initiating sex after a workout
  28. Wrestle with your mate
  29. Let your lover choose positions from a kama sutra book then get to work
  30. Watch her get dressed
  31. Cook his favorite meal in nothing but high heels and an apron
  32. Show up for a nooner
  33. Create sex coupons and leave them throughout the house
  34. Masturbate in the passenger seat while they’re driving
  35. Sex in an airplane (works best in first class!)
  36. Oral sex in the movies
  37. Stroke them with satin/faux fur gloves
  38. Feed him tasty treats with your fingers
  39. In a very public place, lean over and whisper into their ear how much you want them
  40. Suck on phallic shaped objects like lollipops or bananas in his presence
  41. Play Dress Up
  42. Wait for him to come home in nothing but his tie and high heels
  43. Take a bubble bath together

SEDUCTION PART I: It Starts with You

Have you ever seduced yourself? why not?

There’s a saying that before you can truly love someone else, you must love yourself, and that’s the same for seduction. Getting yourself in the mood and getting your fingers on the pulse of your sexuality is the groundwork for using all that magic on someone else.

Before we start discussing how to seduce your partner (or potential partner), i want to invite you to spoil yourself with things that make you feel sexy. i’m not just talking to my ladies here, either. I think that men getting in the mood may use slightly different techniques, but the idea here is to really take the time to focus on yourself as you delve deeper into your seductive side.

  1. Pamper yourself. No matter if you’re doing it at home or going to a spa, pampering does your body good! Have a massage to relax your body and mind. get a spa manicure and pedicure. get your hair done. tan, or spray tan. Something as simple as a $20 pedicure can make your feet feel brand new and give you sexy, shiny polished toes. If you’re on a limited budget at home, do a sugar scrub in the shower and give yourself a facial or a DIY pedicure. Indulge your thirsty skin with a fragrant body oil. Focus on your body and show it some love.
  2. Engage your mind. Think about sex. Fantasize about things that you think are sexy. Our minds are the most powerful sexual organ, give yours a work out! I recommend listening to music to get you in the mood…whether it’s Marvin Gaye, Enigma, Mazzy Star, Adele, Norah Jones, Frank Sinatra or Lil Wayne, if it turns you on, it’s right. Read an erotic novel. The power of the printed word is very strong. i love the Sleeping Beauty trilogy written by Anne Rice under the name A. N. Roquelaure, it’s rather explicit. if you’d like something a bit more tame to get you started, try any of the Penthouse Letters books. By stimulating your mind, you will be able to invoke a deeper sexual response from your body.
  3. Masturbate. I don’t mean rub one out quickly right before you fall asleep. i’m talking about lighting candles for ambiance, playing that sexy music, breaking out the sex toys, and lube, and really making the sweet love with yourself. Explore yourself and use different techniques. Do it in the bed on your back. Lay on your stomach. Use toys, fingers, play with oils and lube. In the words of John Mayer, Your Body is a Wonderland, and you’ve got the golden ticket. Once you are familiar with exactly what gets you off, you can help any lover “discover” this for himself/herself.

All of these things are for you to enjoy on your own. Even if you have a really busy schedule, by taking time every day, whether it’s 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour, you are setting a sexual standard for yourself. You deserve it- make the time yours and yours alone.

Your body will thank you for it.

Next week we’ll start to talk about how to seduce your lover with “Dressing for SEXcess”




“Pursuit and seduction are the essence of sexuality.  It’s part of the sizzle.”  -Camille Paglia

One of the greatest feelings in the world is that of being seduced. from the very first time you feel the pull of desire toward a new lover to the feeling that you get farther into a relationship when your partner is still taking the time to make you feel desired, seduction is key. it is the foreplay to foreplay, if you will…and like foreplay, the more effort that you invest here, the greater the reward.

Every week this month, there will be a different article on Seduction, and we’ll cover what i consider to be some very important components. please feel free to leave your comments and share your own experiences, or even ask questions.