5 Tips to Giving Great Oral Sex

*Originally appeared as a guest blog post on “Dirty And Thirty.”

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s the majority of men love a great blowjob. Therefore, in honor of “Steak and Blowjob Day,” I have taken the liberty of sharing five of my favorite tips for giving incredible head.

oral-sex

  • Start Slow and Let Him Know It’s “Blow Job Time”: When giving fellatio, always start slow and let your partner know its all for his benefit. In your own words, tell your man that it’s “blow job time” and you expect nothing in return. You can use this information to tease him with a suggestive text or phone call earlier in the day. Then when the time comes, use only your tongue. Don’t incorporate hands yet. Tease him into full arousal, and if he’s already aroused, make him want it even more.
  • Perception Is Everything: When giving a man oral sex, his point of view is very important. Keep your location in mind and always think of ways to stimulate him visually, as well as physically. For example, consider positioning yourself in front of a mirror, or somewhere with a partial view of a mirror. As noted in “Guide to Wicked Sex: Fellatio,” a popular volume in my sex instructional series, be sure to wear something that shows off your breasts and tie your hair into a ponytail to give him a clear view. This way, your man can fully appreciate his blowjob and watch it from different angles.
  • Be Enthusiastic: Men love it when you enjoy giving them pleasure. Moan and make it obvious that you like what you’re doing. When he starts to cum, be enthusiastic! Don’t stop, and if you don’t want to swallow, use your saliva and his cum to stroke him. Rub his cock with all your saliva and use both hands until he stops moving. He’ll never notice, and he’ll thank you later for not stopping!
  • Use Flavored Lubes: Flavored lubes can make giving oral sex extremely tasty. My favorite personal lubricants are from the Wicked Sensual Care collection, which contains 100 percent plant-based derivatives and glycerin – thus making them vegan and PETA-compliant. The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage—hypoallergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line. Spread a thin layer of lube on your man’s cock and then dive in. He’ll taste wonderful!
  • Eye Contact: When giving fellatio, I cannot overstress the need for eye contact. When you’re looking into his eyes and moaning, it signals that you are confidence and love what you’re doing. This will trigger an instinctive, animalistic reaction from your man, and he will feel more relaxed and more turned on– and experience an incredible orgasm!

Demonstrating you care as much about your man’s sexual satisfaction as you do your own is a great way to show your appreciation and boost his confidence. Use all of my tips, and don’t be scared to try new things. Later, when it’s your turn, I’ll bet your guy will be just as eager to return the favor!

 

xo,

jessica drake

Naughty, but Oh, so Nice Holiday Gift List

With the holiday season upon us, gift-buying procrastinators are either racking their brains for last minute presents or scrounging the stores for the best deals. Shopping for friends and family members is hard enough, but what about that “special someone” – your womanly significant other? Should you get her something sweet and sentimental, or something sexy and sassy you both can enjoy?

gtws_naughty

If you’re leaning towards the latter, then allow me to steer you in the right direction with my top five “naughty” holiday gift picks for those nice enough in the bedroom to deserve them. After all, the key to a long and successful relationship is communication and mutual respect, along with fiery hot sexual chemistry. Check out my list below!

1) We Vibe 4 Plus:

We Vibe 4 Plus is a compact, body-hugging vibrator that can be used by couples to connect them in new, exciting ways. Curved to fit a woman’s body and fit snugly in place, the We Vibe 4 Plus is equipped with an app adding smartphone control and a wireless remote offering intensity and mode configuration. It can be used together during sex – providing extra stimulation to her clitoris and G-spot – or continents apart when operated by the WiFi/ cellular data connected control. In this way, one can play and please their lover from anywhere in the world!

2) Revel Body SOL:

Revel Body SOL is a powerful clitoral vibrator featuring TrueSonic technology and is the only vibrator available operating at the frequency of Om – the energy that connects and joins all things together. Perfect for body massage and clitoral stimulation, one can roll it on the body or use the vibrating tip, which varies from thumpy and powerful to fast and “buzzy.” It also comes with three redesigned and improved tips for customized performance and a new QuietCore piston for quieter operation. To top it all off, the Revel Body SOL is completely waterproof and designed for underwater suction and vibration when using the device’s backside.

3) Wicked Sensual Care’s Collections of Lubes

From the “Aqua” water-based and paraben-free lubricants – containing flavors such as Candy Apple, Salted Caramel, and Pomegranate – to the “Ultra” line of fragrance-free, “heat,” or “chill” silicone lubes, Wicked Sensual Care Collection adds easy, silky spice to the bedroom. Wicked Care “Sensations” lubes are designed to enhance the entire experience, and “Specialty” products such as “Jelle” address specific needs required of fun anal play, or anywhere you need your lube to have serious staying power. Take your pick and discover which lubes work best for you!

4) NS Novelty’s “Sinful” Line of Bondage Products

If you’re into kinks, NS Novelty offers a line of “Sinful” sexy restraints, cuffs and collars that can be used with your partner. Designed in faux leather and other materials, these accessories offer both comfort and bounding restraint with an economically friendly price point.

5) Sqweel 2 Oral Sex Simulator

As the closest comparable thing to what real-life cunnilingus feels like, the Sqweel 2 Oral Sex Simulator is my final stocking topper. Featuring a spinning wheel with 10 “lapping” silicone tongues, three varying speeds, and a flicker function that delivers incredible orgasms, the Sqweel 2 is the perfect gift for your oral loving honey.

Hope these help – they all have my stamp of sexual approval!

xo,
jd

Sweeten up your Sex : Why I like Flavored Lubes

As you may know, lubrication is an essential part of sex. Without it, the vagina can become chafed, irritated, and unhappy. While vaginas lubricate themselves naturally during arousal, not all women produce enough of their honey, causing sex to become difficult. According to researchers at the University of California in Santa Barbara, approximately 40% of women in the US have experienced inadequate lubrication during sex — that’s millions of women yelling, “I’m not wet enough!”

Lube isn’t only for people with kinky, gorilla-like sex lives. The reality is that many women have trouble naturally lubricating, leading to uncomfortable and even painful sex. Adding lube can enhance sexy time, whether you need a little help getting wet or are all good to go. Every woman is different, and so is her vagina. Women really want to have sex, but sometimes we can’t get our vaginas on the same page.

There are many different reasons women experience dryness. Any negative emotions during sexual activity can prevent vaginal wetness. Stress can cause the body to produce higher levels of epinephrine, a hormone that interferes with the body’s sexual response cycle and thus impedes vaginal lubrication. Release the gunk harboring your mind! Taking a warm bath, lighting some candles, having a romantic dinner with your partner, and giving each other massages are all effective ways to calm down and set the mood. If you still need a little help to get wet, reach for the lube and massage some onto you and your partner’s fun parts…

The uses for lube are endless! Use it when playing with your sex toys for added pleasure. It is great for hand jobs; the cooling or warming lubes creates the ultimate stimulating sensation. Flavored lubes are super tasty for oral sex, not to cover up taste or smells but to enhance. Moreover, lube is a MUST for anal!

Lube is for everybody, especially with the added bonus of yummy flavors! It can be used to enhance different sensations, regardless of whether you are already wet or not, and should be within an arm’s reach of the bed at all times…

There are tons of great lubes on the market, just remember that not all lubes are created equal, or right for everyone. While lubes with Glycerin, a thick, sweet-tasting, colorless liquid, are an all-natural option, women prone to yeast infections or men prone to UTIs should consider avoiding it due to the sugar. If you are using condoms, avoid petroleum or oil-based lubes, as it can cause latex to deteriorate. Water-based lubricants are a great alternative, though they are sometimes not as thick as the other lubes. There are silicone-based lubes, which can work very well. It is best to experiment to find a lube that works best for you.

wicked_aqua_collections

Here are some of my favorite lubes…
● Wicked AQUA Mocha Java has a noticeable coffee flavor, mixed with a chocolaty sweetness—like a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. The silky texture allow for smoother motions and thus an enhanced experience for both partners.
● Wicked AQUA Pomegranate has a unique, sweet flavor with a slightly bitter aftertaste, much like its namesake pomegranate. Drive your partner crazy with one of the best oral experiences of his/her life!
● Wicked AQUA Salted Caramel has the sweetness of caramel accompanied by saltiness. The two flavors perfectly complement each other and allow for a rich caramel treat. Why not use it for playful oral sex before a hot love session?
● Wicked AQUA Vanilla Bean is a perfectly sweet treat for yourself while pleasuring your partner. It tastes like silky, smooth vanilla syrup. Use with toys to pleasure yourself, or with your partner for a sensual oral session.
To spice it up a little more, try mixing different flavors for a heavenly session with your partner. My favorite combos are Pomegranate and Vanilla Bean, and Salted Caramel with Mocha Java.

My favorite personal lubricants, and all the lubes mentioned above, are from the Wicked Sensual Care collection. It includes products with glycerin containing only 100% plant-based derivatives, making each vegan and PETA-compliant. The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage—hypoallergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line.

Many women experience vaginal dryness due to a variety of factors (stress, negative emotions, medications, etc.), and inadequate lubrication can lead to irritated and chafed labia and vaginal walls. Lube offers a solution for individuals who don’t lubricate enough, don’t lubricate at all, or simply want a sexy and fun addition to their bedroom sessions.

Don’t hesitate to use lube to smoothen and enrich your sexcapades! Remember, it is always better to have lube and not need it, than need lube and not have it.

xo,

jd

*This article originally appeared on Fleshbot.com as part of a weeklong guest editor gig I had

My TOP TEN Sex Toys

Being in the industry I am, people are always asking me about different adult products, especially during my workshops or adult DVD store signings. Following my meet and greets, I’ve played personal shopper for couples or women looking to spice up their love lives. More and more, stores now have a boutique environment where people can browse at their own speed, talk to some really knowledgeable salespeople, and even feel the texture or strength of vibrations of a toy, or even try out lube… on their hands, that is. 😉

Even though my favorites have changed and evolved over the years as technology has advanced, there are some products that really do stand out, and I’d like to share them with you. In no particular order, here are my current TOP TEN favorite sex toys:

 

1) The Pocket Rocket – Quite well known, this mini vibe is small, but really does the trick. It is quiet and discreet, perfect for clitoral stimulation alone or during penetration. This is often the first toy that women introduce into partner play.

 

2) Sqweel – Please believe me when I say that this toy comes VERY close to the feel of actual cunnilingus. All you need to do is add batteries and your favorite lube, choose your speed, lay back, and enjoy again and again. If someone would have simply told me about this, I wouldn’t be so sure. This palm-sized black case with pink tongues in a circle doesn’t look the way it feels at all, but then again, who REALLY knows what heaven looks like?

 

3) The Bodywand – A handheld massager with different sized models comes in rechargeable or plug in, and it delivers the goods! Its rounded head is flexible enough to fit where you need it the most. If you’re craving more, they also come with attachments sold separately, from a rabbit head to a G Spot stimulator.

 

4) Evi – After watching a workshop with the amazing Ducky Dolittle, I became a fan of this Kegel exerciser. Though it does not vibrate, it does do some pretty interesting things as it’s inside you, rubbing on your G Spot and training those mighty Kegels.  You can also use it on your clit. It’s quite cool looking, and yes, it comes with instructions.

 

5) Moka G-Vibe – As I was preparing for my “Guide to Wicked Sex G Spot and Female Ejaculation” Instructional, I realized that while I had occasional G-Spot orgasms with a partner, I had never had one on my own.  I needed way more practice if I was going to be of any real help. Enter the Moka G Vibe. Mine is purple, and the slightly flat, yet still curved vibe is the right size and shape to stimulate that much sought after place. I recommend trying different angles and thrusting, or maybe even try dragging it across your G. I was glad I had put towels down!

 

6) Isla (from Lelo) – A luxury vibe that impresses from the first glance. It’s black and gold, sleek and rounded softly to fit your curves. The easy to grip handle is perfect for my often-slippery fingers. With 6 modes and a long lasting charge, you can use it again and again. The packaging is gorgeous too!

 

7) Love Handle G Spot Vibrator from Evolved – There are many reasons why I love this toy – it’s the perfect size, it fits my curves, and there are 7 different functions. It’s not overwhelmingly big, and its handle is at just the right angle so you can easily reach your G Spot (or someone else’s). It is also waterproof, which will come in handy, what with all that squirting you might be doing.

 

8) Pure Plug 2.0 by njoy – I love anal sex, but(t) sometimes anal toys are tough to choose between because we all have different preferences. If you are into or even interested in trying a metal buttplug, this one is sublime. I love the feel of cold metal drenched in a silicon lube. This toy is just the right size and has a convenient handle for solo anal play OR for sharing. The weight of the metal is another attraction as well, so experiment with different positions when it’s inside you and let gravity do its job.

 

9) Alise from NS Novelties – This super smooth & QUIET vibe is very flexible. In fact, that was the first thing I thought when I opened the package. It’s made from silicone and is rechargeable. There are simply 2 buttons on it. One is the on/off switch, and the other controls the functions. I got so carried away I lost count of every different thing it did to me, but it’s flexibility (and mine) certainly played a great part. It can be used for internal or external stimulation, and for me, both are equally amazing with this toy.

 

10) ANY dong by Tantus – I know that this is a bit vague, but if you’re looking for something remarkable to fit into your harness for strap on play, whether anal or vag, Tantus has something for you. I am such a fan, not only do I use them at work, I have also used them at home. No matter the color, shape or size you need, they have something that will fit your… ummm… NEEDS.

 

xo,
jd

Lubing Up for Better Sex

The addition of personal lubricant can enhance sex, whether you need a little help getting wet or are all ready to go.  Every vagina is different (and special).  Some women get wet from a sexy smile, while others require the assistance of a willing tongue, finger, or toy.  Other women may stay wet for hours, and some ladies have a more limited time frame, regardless of how turned on they may be.  Regardless of your lubrication levels, it’s always a good idea to keep a bottle of your favorite lube by the bed.

According to researchers at the Indiana University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion, nearly 30% of young women experience vaginal dryness due to everything from stress to medication, which I’d love to touch on in a future blog.  The rest probably experience times when they really want to have sex, but simply can’t get their vagina on the same page.  It’s happened to all of us, and if you’ve ever tried to have sex while dry, you know it’s not a great experience.  Of course, as you get older, vaginal dryness happens to almost everyone as a result of menopause – it’s biology.  Lube will help.

Even if you are already wet, adding lube to the mix will provide more ease and increase sensations and satisfaction.  However, too much can have the opposite effect and make it impossible to generate any type of friction – visualize a slip and slide.  Start with a little bit of lube and add more when the time calls for it.  You’ll know when that is.

As far as what type of lube to use, there are many choices – like with condoms – and not all lubes are created equal, or right for everyone.  While lubes with Glycerin, a thick, sweet-tasting, colorless liquid, are an all-natural option, women prone to yeast infections or men prone to UTIs should consider avoiding it due to the sugar.  If you’re using condoms, make sure to stay away from petroleum or oil-based lubes, as it can cause latex to deteriorate.  Water-based lubricants are a great alternative, though they are sometimes not as thick as the other lubes.  There are also silicone-based lubes, which can work very well.  You must experiment with what is best for you.

There are so many great lubes on the market, but of course I’m a bit biased and love the Wicked Sensual Care collection of personal lubricants.  It includes products with glycerin containing only 100% plant-based derivatives, making each vegan and PETA-compliant.  The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage – hypo-allergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line.  You will definitely find a lube to make your bedroom time much more enjoyable.

xo,
jd

Popping Condom Myths

In a previous post on condoms, I discussed the ins and outs of condoms, from using them in my own personal and professional life, to finding the right condom for you or your lover.  Now I want to tackle some of the misconceptions about contraception and pop the myths surrounding condoms.  While you may think some of the following is common sense, there are still many people who never received proper condom education.

  1. Two Are Better Than One – While this statement can be true for many things in life (sometimes even in the bedroom), it is far from true when wearing condoms. Doubling up, or double bagging as some call it, is dangerous, as it creates friction between the two condoms leading to tears.
  1. Condoms Should be Bought by Men – It takes two to tango.  Since sex must always be a consensual act by both parties involved, the responsibility of protection also falls on each individual.  Several studies report more than 35% of condom purchasers are women who understand being prepared is never a bad thing.  For ladies worried about having a bunch of condoms fall out of their purse like Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex & the City,” a chic company named Just In Case specializes in discreet condom carriers.
  1. All Condoms Desensitize – Condoms affect everyone differently.  If you’re having trouble enjoying the moment with a condom on, then you’re using the wrong type/brand.  Try something thinner, or made from a different material.  There are even condoms textured to provide more pleasure to the man wearing it.
  1. Flavored Condoms May be Used Any Time – Condoms seem to come in any flavor imaginable now, even scotch whiskey flavored.  While the flavors may spice up oral sex with a condom, they should not be used during vaginal sex.  Many flavored condoms are sugar coated, which increases the changes of a woman getting a yeast infection.
  1. Some Men Are too Big – No one is too big to wear a condom!  Condoms can hold a gallon of water and are large enough to fit over a basketball.  There are different sizes of condoms, and some men may require an extra large size, but even the men in the adult entertainment industry are able to find condoms that fit.
  1. Pores in Condoms Allow HIV to Pass Through – Latex condoms will not let anything pass through as long as it has not been damaged in any way.  Some natural fiber condoms may not provide effective protection against viruses like HIV, but all latex condoms sold in the United States are rigorously tested to meet strict quality standards.
  1. Wearing a Condom Makes You Invincible – Condoms are over 97% effective protecting against unwanted pregnancy and STDs, but there’s always still a chance something could happen.  In addition to using a condom, use your brain.  If you’re worried about pregnancy, also consider employing additional forms of birth control like the Pill.  To better protect against STDs, make sure you and your partner are both tested before engaging in a sexual relationship.  If you have an open relationship, then make sure you are frequently tested.

As with anything in life, information is key.  If you have questions or concerns about condoms, look it up online.  There is a wealth of knowledge available on the Internet, as long as you stick to trusted sites.

I’ll leave you with this amazing French commercial for condoms, which shows you a great reason to always wrap up: http://youtu.be/x68tEwKlifQ. Enjoy!


xo,

jd