The Secret of Lingerie

Feminine, delicate, lace, faux leather, flirty, sexy – no matter what adjective you use to describe it, or what material your lingerie is made of – your choice of selection says a lot about you. Despite being a personal item most of the world isn’t privy to, just the simple knowledge of the black bra, matching panties and garter belt hugging the curves underneath your dress can give you an extra boost of confidence. When wearing new lingerie or intimates for the first time, a woman can’t resist adding an extra spring in her step or a switch in her hips. Plus, as an additional perk, your significant other will appreciate you, and the way your body looks, even more – adding spice to your love life and excitement to your bedroom games. After all, it’s often said that “a well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men.” Well, if your man turns you on in his suit, shouldn’t you want to return the favor?

gtwsLingerie

Regardless of your tastes or personal kinks, there are three lingerie staples that are classically perfect for turning your man on, and making you feel incredibly sexy. Read on to find out:

1) Black is the New Black: Black lingerie will never go out of style and it will forever be seductive, suggestive and erotic. When you add the mysteriousness of the color with the right materials – silk for example – it creates a wonderful aura of sexiness. Ooze it and own it.

2) Simplicity: We women love our straps, bows and fringes, but it’s its hard to get it on, it’ll be just that much harder to get it off. The former may be fine for days when you just want to admire yourself in all your finery, but for your honey’s sake – keep the removal process simple. You’ll thank me for it later.

3) Attitude: As I stated earlier in the post, a large part of wearing lingerie revolves around how it makes you feel about yourself. If you feel sexy, don’t be afraid to show it. Have fun in your boudoir wear. Your man will appreciate the extra spunkiness.

Whether red lingerie is your preference, or black, nude or even pink, the most important part is to buy pieces that make you feel both beautiful and comfortable. Experiment with a couple of different pieces, and have options that match your mood. You’ll be surprised at how a little piece of fabric can make you feel like a brand new woman. Have fun girls, and happy hunting.

xo,
jessica

Hosting “50 Shades of Drake” at Sunset Novelties in Savannah, Georgia!

I am excited to announce that this Saturday, February 7th, I will be hosting “50 Shades of Drake,” a seminar and Q&A session at the grand opening of Sunset Novelties in Savannah, Georgia!

From 4-8pm EST, I’ll be giving a seminar on various topics, answering all of your most burning questions, and holding a special contest where five finalists will get to read me a page from the book “50 Shades of Grey.” Afterwards, I will pick a winner to receive tickets to Rockville, and a gift card to Sunset Novelties!

On top of that, I’ll also be doing a meet & greet, signing autographs, taking pictures, and recommending some of my favorite products to shoppers! I’ll see you all there!

xo, jessica drake

Date: February 7, 2015
Time: 4-8 pm
Address: 10419 Abercorn Street, Savannah, Georgia 31419, United States
Social Media: @sunsetnovelties

Underneath It All: A Men’s Guide to Buying Lingerie

“You’re really lovely

Underneath it all

You want to love me

Underneath it all”

– No Doubt

 

One of the most rewarding things about creating Guide to Wicked Sex has been serving in Wicked’s overall outreach to couples beyond the traditional retail home video marketplace. We’ve joined the Wicked Sensual Care Collection of luxurious lubricants and enhancers & our romance-driven Wicked Passions DVDs in representing the brand in many places that don’t carry traditional adult DVDs.

 

Sensual lingerie represents another retail environment that’s proven receptive to adult branding. Not surprisingly, I’ve seen an increase in the number of men looking for tips on what to look for when trying to gift their lover with something simultaneously sexy, stylish and comfortable.

 

A healthy theme I’ve seen in these conversations is a desire to flatter and empower their partners while indulging the senses.  As in most areas in life, form serves function here, and any serious search should start with the big questions: Will it be flattering? Will it fit comfortably? And, most importantly, will she FEEL sexy wearing it?

 

At this point, you’ve made notes of her sizes and measurements, and you’ve kept an eye out for preferred fabrics like silk or satin for panties, etc. (I’ll point out here that if circumstances prevent you from being able to get this information, chemises, robes and other nightwear tend to use traditional S, M, L, and  XL sizing, and probably represent your best bets.)

 

Of course, while you were looking in your partner’s underwear drawer for bra and underwear sizes, you also made a note of what they didn’t have; see, if there’s a “master key” to lingerie guidance, this is it: If you step outside her comfort zone, the message sent says more about you than her. You can stay in the zone yet still bring a fresh look to the table by exploring different color schemes or a variation on a style you know she loves.

 

Speaking of colors, feel free to explore a variety of hues; men tend to gravitate toward black, but earn yourself the psychic currency that comes with showing her you pay attention to what she wears throughout her week, and choose accordingly. Similarly, indulge her tastes with some sexy accessories! I have a passion for gloves, and from fishnet arm warmers to lace opera gloves, they provide indispensable and inexpensive ways to make good ensembles great!

 

With both lingerie and accessories, today’s diverse and forward-thinking marketplace offers numerous PETA-approved, “cruelty free” options. With gloves, for example, a pair of beautiful elbow-length pleather opera gloves can be purchased for under $20.00. And in the post-GMO culture in which we live, it’s probably wise to go with the most “organic” fabric choices for lingerie. Silk never goes out of style and, like cotton, it “breathes” and is gentle to the touch.

 

And that’s ultimately what it’s about, isn’t it – gentleness. Stay within our lover’s literal comfort zones by following the master key and easy tips above, and you’ll be “underneath it all” in no time!

 

–Daniel M.

Dear jessica: What Positions Will Hide My Extra Pounds?

FROM JESSICA’S MAIL BAG:

 

Hi, jessica!  I’m not in love with my body right now and only want to have sex in the dark.  Can you recommend any positions that will hide my extra weight, so I can turn on the lights for my man?

–Trish; Boston, MA

 

The most important thing to note is physical appearance isn’t everything, and if any part of you feels like your partner puts pressure on your regarding your appearance, then it may be time to reevaluate your relationship.

 

That being said, sex is such a wonderful part of life!  Unfortunately, many women stress out so much about areas they believe to be imperfect that it affects their ability to orgasm – the mind kicks into overdrive trying to hide things, instead of simply being comfortable and letting go.  If you’re too concerned about having a little extra jiggle, then it’s hard to enjoy the act.  Luckily, there are some simple positions to help conceal body areas you may be self conscious about.

 

If you’re worried about your stomach, then having sex in doggy position will cause the guy’s focus to be entirely on your luscious booty.  The cowgirl position is also good to conceal tummy fat.  You’re upright in the position, which helps, plus your breasts will be bouncing around to draw his attention.  In the reverse cowgirl position, your back is to him, so once again your butt will draw his attention.

 

If it’s your backside and thighs you want to hide, then consider variations on the missionary position.  Besides covering your back, the missionary position also causes the focal point to be your eyes and face.

 

Of course, standing up while having sex is a great way to conceal any trouble spots.  Standing stretches out all your areas.

 

You can also try a new wardrobe in the bedroom.  There are plenty of sexy lingerie options available to cover areas you dislike and enhance those you do.

 

In the end, the most important thing to remember is everyone has insecurities, but if you’re with a partner who cares about you and has earned your trust, then he probably thinks of you as the most beautiful in the world regardless of any weight you may have put on.  So flip on the lights and enjoy yourself!

Blow his Mind and…. Other Useful Advice!

Hi jessica, thank you for answering my question. I have a pretty good sex life with my husband of 10 years. We are lucky enough to be going on our second honeymoon this spring to a romantic cottage in the Bahamas. What can I do to turn the heat up and blow his mind? Ashleigh, 41, Atchison, Kansas

HI Ashleigh-

First of all, congrats. Ten years is a great milestone, and what better way to celebrate with a second honeymoon, without all the stress of planning a wedding right beforehand, and in the Bahamas, no less!

Because  this is your tenth year of wedded bliss, you guys are very comfortable with each other…maybe a little TOO comfortable. This is your chance to shake things up a bit, and hopefully he has plans up his sleeve as well. The first step is packing for such an adventure. Here are some things that you might want to include:

“Sizzling hot packing list”

sexy lingerie

very high heels

a jersey of his favorite sports team

his “fantasy” outfit- something that you know really gets him going

lube. lots of lube.

a few porn DVDs- lots of resorts will be able to offer you a DVD player.

toys- vibrators with extra batteries, a blindfold, some massage oil

an iPod with great songs for striptease/seduction/sex along with mini speakers

scented candles

scarves for bondage

The items listed above are a great starting point, you’ll want to personalize the list according to what you guys are into…or what you may want to try. It might be fun to visit an adult store together before your trip, or you could surprise him and just tuck the extra “sex bag” in with your luggage. And don’t be embarrassed about airport security- trust me, they’ve seen far more shocking things. (hey, i fly a lot, remember?)

Once you are there, allow yourself a little time to settle in and relax. Once it sinks in that the two of you are ALONE with no distractions in a gorgeous tropical location, do what comes naturally! Shed those clothes, slip into a bathing suit, oil up, and get ready to soak up some rays…but right before you walk out the door, give your partner the best surprise blow job ever. That can set the tone for your entire trip.

As for the rest of your sensual getaway, here are a few suggestions to get you on your way:

give him a sexy lap dance to his favorite song(s), and then as you strip, slowly back away and head for the bedroom, leaving a trail of clothes for him to follow.

take a candlelit bath together with a bottle of wine. wash each other. afterwards, dry each other off and grab the massage oil!

watch an adult movie together and act out something you’ve always wanted to try

get dressed up separately, and “pick each other up” like strangers at the bar of your resort. Give him your extra room key and tell him to meet you upstairs in 10 minutes. wait for him in the bed, putting one of those vibrators you packed to good use.

make on night “all about him” and do anything he tells you to do (within reason) let him direct what you wear, what you take off, what you touch, what you don’t. this exchange of control will drive you both wild.

the next night, it’s your turn. now he’s at your beck and call.

Have breakfast in bed. don’t use silverware, and don’t feed yourself. only each other.

This is a great place to try something you’ve never dared to before- whether it’s anal sex, some bondage, you name it. Part of your planning this second honeymoon could involve you taking him out for a nice, romantic dinner, and telling him about something you’d like to do when you are in the Bahamas. This is also a really good way to start the foreplay from thousands of miles away and build anticipation for what’s to come. (pun intended)

Enjoy yourselves and each other. You’ve earned it!

xoxo,

jd