Food and foreplay are two of the top items on my new-agey “gratitude list.” Although many of us occasionally overindulge in the first activity and neglect the second, the marriage of food and sex is a happy one. Whether it’s strawberries and champagne or Chinese take-out, your favorite foods can awaken a deep, carnal recess of your brain. The aroma and impromptu sloppiness will make you want to devour your partner’s genitals and the crumbs that happen to fall around them. Yes, I love eating.
You can forgo whipped cream, cherries, and chocolate syrup if they’re not your thing. I believe any food can get you horny, as long as you attribute some sort of a mythical power to it. For example, you may have good memories from childhood involving food, perhaps going to the mall with your friends and chowing down on a Cinnabon. Now if your partner brings home that sweet, nolstagic something and finger-feeds it to you, while also eating you out– INCREDIBLE. Your positive memories are now being associated with something even more stimulating, and you’re getting arounds physically and mentally!
Although my main advice for food sex is simple – eat food, have sex – here are things to consider:
Let go of being clean as possible. Just let go. There’s no avoiding a messy situation, especially since it’s half the fun. Lay a bed sheet over where you plan on fucking and throw it in the wash after the tasty deed. Then decide whether to take a shower or have more sex.
Get the good stuff. You and your partner are going to treat each other, so only prepare once-in-a-while foods. Their specialness or sinfulness will carry into the bedroom. Do you hardly cook for your partner? Turn your partner on by making her dinner, while playing sexy songs. Are you two a power couple on a low-carb paleo diet? Just once, in blood-oath secrecy, nibble on macaroons, chocolate cake, cotton candy, or a cinnamon roll. Also, foods that are “exotic” to you can transcend your normal sex routine to the unfamiliar. Highly aromatic foods, like Indian curry, foods that knockout all your taste buds, like a Dragon Roll, and slurpy foods, like Pad Thai or a ripe mango, are all scrumptious. The point is to be deviant and indulge like children on Halloween.
It’s also HOW you eat. Lovingly place your food anywhere on your partner’s body – on her tits, his dick, her vulva, or any other external hot spot are acceptable places. Make sure you or your partner’s genitals aren’t super irritable or prone to infection. Otherwise, lay food down from the waist up. Then, eat, lick, and nibble slowly until you both decide to rough it up. If you really want to make you partner happy, go down on them while they savor a bite of their favorite dessert. You can also sprawl small dry treats about your bed that you and your partner can taste while you two fuck (Cadbury chocolates have a low melting point!). However, unless it’s your kinky partner’s hands around your neck, be wary of choking.
Happy eating and sexing!