5 Tips to Giving Great Oral Sex

*Originally appeared as a guest blog post on “Dirty And Thirty.”

If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s the majority of men love a great blowjob. Therefore, in honor of “Steak and Blowjob Day,” I have taken the liberty of sharing five of my favorite tips for giving incredible head.

oral-sex

  • Start Slow and Let Him Know It’s “Blow Job Time”: When giving fellatio, always start slow and let your partner know its all for his benefit. In your own words, tell your man that it’s “blow job time” and you expect nothing in return. You can use this information to tease him with a suggestive text or phone call earlier in the day. Then when the time comes, use only your tongue. Don’t incorporate hands yet. Tease him into full arousal, and if he’s already aroused, make him want it even more.
  • Perception Is Everything: When giving a man oral sex, his point of view is very important. Keep your location in mind and always think of ways to stimulate him visually, as well as physically. For example, consider positioning yourself in front of a mirror, or somewhere with a partial view of a mirror. As noted in “Guide to Wicked Sex: Fellatio,” a popular volume in my sex instructional series, be sure to wear something that shows off your breasts and tie your hair into a ponytail to give him a clear view. This way, your man can fully appreciate his blowjob and watch it from different angles.
  • Be Enthusiastic: Men love it when you enjoy giving them pleasure. Moan and make it obvious that you like what you’re doing. When he starts to cum, be enthusiastic! Don’t stop, and if you don’t want to swallow, use your saliva and his cum to stroke him. Rub his cock with all your saliva and use both hands until he stops moving. He’ll never notice, and he’ll thank you later for not stopping!
  • Use Flavored Lubes: Flavored lubes can make giving oral sex extremely tasty. My favorite personal lubricants are from the Wicked Sensual Care collection, which contains 100 percent plant-based derivatives and glycerin – thus making them vegan and PETA-compliant. The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage—hypoallergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line. Spread a thin layer of lube on your man’s cock and then dive in. He’ll taste wonderful!
  • Eye Contact: When giving fellatio, I cannot overstress the need for eye contact. When you’re looking into his eyes and moaning, it signals that you are confidence and love what you’re doing. This will trigger an instinctive, animalistic reaction from your man, and he will feel more relaxed and more turned on– and experience an incredible orgasm!

Demonstrating you care as much about your man’s sexual satisfaction as you do your own is a great way to show your appreciation and boost his confidence. Use all of my tips, and don’t be scared to try new things. Later, when it’s your turn, I’ll bet your guy will be just as eager to return the favor!

 

xo,

jessica drake

Sweeten up your Sex : Why I like Flavored Lubes

As you may know, lubrication is an essential part of sex. Without it, the vagina can become chafed, irritated, and unhappy. While vaginas lubricate themselves naturally during arousal, not all women produce enough of their honey, causing sex to become difficult. According to researchers at the University of California in Santa Barbara, approximately 40% of women in the US have experienced inadequate lubrication during sex — that’s millions of women yelling, “I’m not wet enough!”

Lube isn’t only for people with kinky, gorilla-like sex lives. The reality is that many women have trouble naturally lubricating, leading to uncomfortable and even painful sex. Adding lube can enhance sexy time, whether you need a little help getting wet or are all good to go. Every woman is different, and so is her vagina. Women really want to have sex, but sometimes we can’t get our vaginas on the same page.

There are many different reasons women experience dryness. Any negative emotions during sexual activity can prevent vaginal wetness. Stress can cause the body to produce higher levels of epinephrine, a hormone that interferes with the body’s sexual response cycle and thus impedes vaginal lubrication. Release the gunk harboring your mind! Taking a warm bath, lighting some candles, having a romantic dinner with your partner, and giving each other massages are all effective ways to calm down and set the mood. If you still need a little help to get wet, reach for the lube and massage some onto you and your partner’s fun parts…

The uses for lube are endless! Use it when playing with your sex toys for added pleasure. It is great for hand jobs; the cooling or warming lubes creates the ultimate stimulating sensation. Flavored lubes are super tasty for oral sex, not to cover up taste or smells but to enhance. Moreover, lube is a MUST for anal!

Lube is for everybody, especially with the added bonus of yummy flavors! It can be used to enhance different sensations, regardless of whether you are already wet or not, and should be within an arm’s reach of the bed at all times…

There are tons of great lubes on the market, just remember that not all lubes are created equal, or right for everyone. While lubes with Glycerin, a thick, sweet-tasting, colorless liquid, are an all-natural option, women prone to yeast infections or men prone to UTIs should consider avoiding it due to the sugar. If you are using condoms, avoid petroleum or oil-based lubes, as it can cause latex to deteriorate. Water-based lubricants are a great alternative, though they are sometimes not as thick as the other lubes. There are silicone-based lubes, which can work very well. It is best to experiment to find a lube that works best for you.

wicked_aqua_collections

Here are some of my favorite lubes…
● Wicked AQUA Mocha Java has a noticeable coffee flavor, mixed with a chocolaty sweetness—like a Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. The silky texture allow for smoother motions and thus an enhanced experience for both partners.
● Wicked AQUA Pomegranate has a unique, sweet flavor with a slightly bitter aftertaste, much like its namesake pomegranate. Drive your partner crazy with one of the best oral experiences of his/her life!
● Wicked AQUA Salted Caramel has the sweetness of caramel accompanied by saltiness. The two flavors perfectly complement each other and allow for a rich caramel treat. Why not use it for playful oral sex before a hot love session?
● Wicked AQUA Vanilla Bean is a perfectly sweet treat for yourself while pleasuring your partner. It tastes like silky, smooth vanilla syrup. Use with toys to pleasure yourself, or with your partner for a sensual oral session.
To spice it up a little more, try mixing different flavors for a heavenly session with your partner. My favorite combos are Pomegranate and Vanilla Bean, and Salted Caramel with Mocha Java.

My favorite personal lubricants, and all the lubes mentioned above, are from the Wicked Sensual Care collection. It includes products with glycerin containing only 100% plant-based derivatives, making each vegan and PETA-compliant. The line also includes several products with the glycerin-free advantage—hypoallergenic Sensitive, Jellé, and an entire silicone-based Ultra line.

Many women experience vaginal dryness due to a variety of factors (stress, negative emotions, medications, etc.), and inadequate lubrication can lead to irritated and chafed labia and vaginal walls. Lube offers a solution for individuals who don’t lubricate enough, don’t lubricate at all, or simply want a sexy and fun addition to their bedroom sessions.

Don’t hesitate to use lube to smoothen and enrich your sexcapades! Remember, it is always better to have lube and not need it, than need lube and not have it.

xo,

jd

*This article originally appeared on Fleshbot.com as part of a weeklong guest editor gig I had