CHECK YOUR PREMISES:
Become Who You Are Before You Become a Sex Blogger
[For those of you who’ve been following me here and on other sites over the years, it’s no secret that not only do I enjoy sex blogging, I’m very devoted to encouraging others to share their sexual experiences and beliefs as well. So for the first post on this important topic here on Guide to Wicked Sex, I’ve invited industry publicist Daniel M to share his thoughts on “checking your premises” before starting a sex blog of your own. Enjoy! – jd]
“Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong.”
These high-falutin’ words are culled from the climax of Ayn Rand’s dystopian epic Atlas Shrugged. Railroad baroness Dagny Taggart has challenged billionaire swinger Francisco d’Anconia by wondering aloud how a visionary as talented as he could fritter his days away in a haze of booze and passionless sex. By throwing the question back in her lap, so to speak, d’Anconia himself seems to agree; he simply “is who he is,” ala Popeye. As Rand herself put it herself in a later essay, “He urges her to look beyond her assumptions in the search for an answer that could make sense.”
So what’s this Mad Men-era mumbo-jumbo have to do with writing about human sexuality, you’re likely asking. Quite a bit, it turns out – and I’m not just saying that because Rand is a major influence on my own philosophy and sexuality (so much so that in the spirit of full disclosure I’ll fess up to working on last year’s film production of Atlas Shrugged II: The Strike for two days as an unpaid extra). No, what Francisco is getting at here is “A is A”,” a weighty term straight from the work of Aristotle.
Known as Aristotle’s Law of Identity and beautifully simple, it holds that everything and everyone that exists has a single identity. So, if you aspire to blog about something as rich and varied as sex, the most important issue you should get out of the way first is…you.
What is the source or “origin story” of your sexual being? How was the topic of sex treated in your home growing up? Are your memories conservative, liberal, happy, sad, full of light, darkness, or – as they are for most of us – somewhere in between? Many psychologists assert our personalities are essentially “formed” by age eight, so obviously childhood conceptions of relationships and love can – and do – cast a long shadow over our sexual nature.
And just what is it you’re hoping to accomplish with your blog, anyway? The advent of Social Media, Web 2.0, smartphones and countless other technological innovations leave us craving instant gratification like never before, but sex is rarely a matter of black and white. Do you wish pass on the knowledge of others, share your own personal experiences, discoveries, tips and tricks, or simply share insights on your own personal sexual journey into greater pleasure, greater understanding, and greater acceptance? As another intellectual giant once said, “To thine own self be true.”
A = A.
Through our sexuality, we work with our partners to perceive reality in its most physical, objective sense, to bring mutual fantasies into reality, rather than leaving them to wither and die in some unlived alternate reality. But as those who come from intensely conservative and / or religious backgrounds can attest, coercion and manipulation, if exerted strongly enough and over time, can create an also hypnotic matrix of denial, creating an alternate reality that cannot abide healthy sexuality.
“All the World’s a stage / We are merely players / performers and portrayers” Neil Peart once wrote by way of Shakespeare. And once you’ve come to terms with the sexual journalist you were always meant to be, you’ll know your role. Philosophers and ploughmen – each must know their part. Are you an educator, confessor, libertine, or sociologist?
Once you know the answer to that question, grab a catchy-sounding URL summarizing how A = A in your own sexual reality and be sure to tag every post with every applicable keyword imaginable, because you’ll be on your way in no time.
“A person’s sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life.” – Ayn Rand