How to Discover the Dirty Things Your Girl Wants To Do In Bed

Originally posted on *Ask Men

People in relationships often don’t ask each other to do certain things simply because they are too shy to bring it up. This goes for both guys and girls: We fear that our partners might think we are a bit too weird.

Your girlfriend could be into some pretty wild stuff, but she might be worried that you’ll think she’s perverted or that it is out of her nature. And you most likely have the desire to try something new, but you might fear she’ll think you’re a freak or a weirdo or — worst of all — unmanly. The thing is, a few lewd (but tactful) suggestions can go a long way, so don’t be afraid to be brave sometimes. Of course, some things are going to be completely out of the question for you or her, but this is something you can discuss: Where and what are your limits? What would you do, and definitely not do? Communication is always the best pathway to the best sex of your life, so get talkin’!

To get you inspired, this article will provide you with a list of naughty things many girls are secretly into. Don’t be shy to ask her if she has fantasized or thought about trying one of the acts listed below. But before you try something new in the bedroom, you need to break the routine patterns that dominate your relationship on every level.

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Break the routine

Before you try out your “new thing,” break the spell of routine outside of your sex life by doing something nonroutine together. For example, if you come home and watch TV for three hours together every night, go for a walk for an hour and get some ice cream instead. If it’s too cold for that, play a game of cards. You get the drift; it doesn’t matter what it is, just make sure you haven’t done it for the past 30 days straight. Breaking the cycles in your lives will leave you both open to fresh thoughts and actions in the bedroom.

This is great for your relationship anyway, as no one likes to do the same thing week in and week out. Life can be long and boring enough as it is without encouraging your own closest relationship to become stale. Appreciate each other by showing interest in different activities, and you will hopefully be rewarded with an open mind and body when you pop the question about trying one of the sexual activities listed below.

Having sex in a public place

Having sex in a public place is a huge turn-on for many women because it’s just so naughty. Public doesn’t mean “right out on the street in front of everyone to see”; it generally means somewhere discreet, but very much in the public domain. From cars to public toilets to the library, the possibilities are endless… a park, an alleyway, a crowded bus… all these places offer the thrill of debauchery, but you can do it without anyone really actually knowing what you are doing. If you do get caught, the giggles will be worth it unless, of course, you get arrested! Even so, you can add your mug shots to your photo album.

The key to having sex in public is to keep it decent. This means wearing appropriate clothing for easy access, and keeping the huffs, puffs and squeals down. Your thrills may not thrill too many other people.

If you think your girl is not into anal, you could be wrong…

Anal sex

Despite living in the 21st century, many people are still afraid of anal sex — this includes men. With the right care taken and plenty of lube, anal sex can be extremely pleasurable and fun. Even though it’s had its taboo pass revoked in recent years due to popular demand, not everyone has tried it… or tried it and liked it.

The anal area has millions of nerve endings within its fine walls, and you can even have anal orgasms. The sensation is different to vaginal sex, so it provides a pleasant change when you want to try something new.

The male G-spot (prostate gland) is in the anal canal, and there are special tools (prostate massagers) you can use to provoke what is commonly referred to as “the super O.” Whole body orgasms are possible, which stem not from the penis, but from the abdomen and prostate, ricocheting through the body; a deeply moving experience,  if you are keen on trying one.

Filming it

Making your own dirty sex tape can be a very sexy way to spend intimate time with your lover. It takes a bit of courage to do this, but it will provide much quality material later on for fantasies. It does take a reasonable dose of trust, so use your scruples, and don’t abuse her faith — that means don’t show your mates, don’t sell it on the internet (or give it away for free!) and don’t tell anyone without prior permission.

It is easy enough to get out your video phone these days and do a bit of amateur filming at the blink of an eye, so make use of new technologies. It doesn’t have to be a fully set up porn scene, just film yourselves together doing something you both like, then you can look at it later when you need a hand…

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Going to a strip club together

This is a brave step for many women, but today’s wonderfully modern woman doesn’t want to be a prude, so your girl may just be delighted if you asked her to come along to a strip club. It doesn’t have to be with all your drooling, horny mates (safety in numbers), just you and your girl checking it out together.

Women really do love to admire other women’s beautiful bodies, and we all wish to Venus that we could dance like that. Yes women envy other women, but on the whole, it is an arousing and attractive experience for a female to watch other females being sexy. All that bare, naked flesh and beautiful lingerie… just keep your hands to yourself, and make sure you pay your girl sufficient attention like a gentleman should.

You are not out with your mates, so don’t act like it. She’ll be paying attention to how you gaze at the girls, so try to keep cool and put more of your focus on your girlfriend.

Experimenting with light bondage

Being tied up is erotic because it begins a power game. If you tie me up, you have the power. If I tie you up, I have the power. Bondage doesn’t have to be whips and chains and gimp masks, it can be as simple as knotting her panties around her wrists with the bed post in between so she is at your mercy.

Sheets and underwear do nicely. You don’t need any fancy rope or handcuffs — though these are always nice and they make a suggestive gift if you want to bring up such antics discreetly. Keep ties firm but not too tight, and the golden rule is if you are going to play rough, have a safe word so even if you are role playing and pretending to hate what she is doing to do you, if at any time you become uncomfortable and actually do want to stop, you can say the magic word and she’ll let you go.

Playing dress up

Naughty knickers spice up your sex life. I’m not talking about a pair of black and red frillies here; I’m talking about proper dress ups. Maid or nurse outfits, male and female stripper outfits, policeman and fireman uniforms, anything your combined imaginations can conjure up. Ask her to pick a fantasy man for you to dress up as, and then you get to do the same with her. It’s loads of fun and gives you both the opportunity to safely delve a little deeper into your fantasy worlds.

Some Tips

  • Don’t: Rush into it. Sometimes a girl has to talk about her fantasy for months and months before she feels ready and willing to actually try it.
  • Don’t: Suggest something energetic when you both don’t have much energy, like after a big day at work or during an emotionally stressful time.
  • Don’t: Try to push her out of her comfort zone and don’t let her do the same to you. Trying new things is all well and good, but being coerced into something you are not comfortable with is damaging.
  • Do: Make an effort with the atmosphere. Depending on what you’re trying out, pay attention to your surroundings and whether they provide the best atmosphere for the mood you’re going for. Make the atmosphere conducive to new and interesting things.
  • Do: Make an effort with your appearance. If you want to get your girlfriend to try something new, you need to keep your end of the bargain and keep yourself well-groomed. That way she won’t feel like she’s the one making all of the effort.

Try something new

There are so many new things to try out when it comes to your sex life, even if you think you’ve tried it all, try it again, in a different color, with a different flavor or in a different place. If you feel like you aren’t getting the most out of your sexual adventures due to shyness, be brave! Be suggestive, talk about things you would both like to do; you will be surprised at what comes out. Don’t ever forget that the best sex comes to those who communicate.

jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal Stills

Curious about anal sex, but afraid to try it? Maybe you have unanswered questions and just don’t know where to start. With my help, we’ll change all of that. I’m jessica drake, and in this Guide to Wicked Sex, you’ll learn everything you need to know to enjoy your first anal experience. With the help of two anal experts, you’ll learn how to prepare, experiment with toys, choose the correct lube, and finally how to go all the way. You may have thought about trying anal sex to please your man, but I’ll show you just how satisfying it can be for both of you! Cast: Asa Akira, Dana DeArmond, Lyla Storm, Jeremy Conway, Mr Marcus, and Ramon Nomar.

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PMS: Helpful tips to get over that time of the month, every month

Perhaps it’s human instinct cueing our lovers when it’s our time of the month again, or maybe it’s the chocolate wrappers, incessant crying, and the sweats we wore to work. When Mother Nature punishes you for not being pregnant with low self-esteem and unstoppable cravings for a chocolate donut, it’s difficult to be intimate with your partner, especially when you feel like criticizing them and bursting into tears after. However, there are ways to cooperate with the flow of nature and have sex on your period. Yes, you can have sex on your period! Here’s how we can keep our relationship serene and sexy when it’s code red in our pants:

Relax. In order to combat your plummeting levels of progesterone, a calming hormone, engage in a relaxing activity. Relaxing with a partner can stabilize each other’s moods during a time when both parties may get frustrated. The soothing warmth of rubbing bodies in a cozy bed or naked time in a sauna can alleviate an unresolved argument and the pains of menstrual cramps. I like to treat myself with a nice warm bath after a long shoot, especially when I’m cramping. Adding a few droplets of lavender oil can reduce anxiety. Adding rose oil can relieve depressive feelings. Adding a naked lover is known to relieve tension.

Then have sex. There are options so let me break them down.

Vaginal sex – Avoid messiness and have your partner penetrate you in a bath or shower. The water will wash away all evidence of period sex. But I totally understand shower sex is something that happens more often in movies because the small space doesn’t allow flexibility for sex positions or comfort. However, like I always say, try it out! Otherwise, you can have period sex anywhere else as long as you have a cloth to catch your menses. A dark towel or two will work! I’d suggest sticking to positions requiring you and/or your partner to lie down to avoid dripping off the towel.

Additional ways to prevent a mess include inserting a menstrual cup or an all-natural sea sponge into your vagina before penetration. You can try Softcups or Jade & Pearl sea sponges, which will be virtually unnoticeable during sex. Since they’re both reusable, fucking will also be eco-friendly!

Anal sex – I actually enjoy anal sex the most when I’m on my period. The pumping may feel like it’s massaging your womb and lower back, and you can achieve intense orgasms! First clear your anus of feces by safely self-administering an enema. Or have your partner wear a condom as long as your anal passageway is clear. Then insert a cup or tampon to catch your flow. Lie on your stomach, preferably on a firm surface, and have your partner thrust on top of you with their cock or strap-on. Meanwhile underneath, put pressure on your clitoris with your fingers or a vibrator–their thrusting will add punctuated pressure that feels damn good and will take you to orgasm.

Oral sex – Tampons, sponges, and menstrual cups are fantastic if you want your clitoris and vulva licked. Unless your partner doesn’t mind a little taste of menstrual blood–which isn’t harmful–make sure your vulva is washed clean. Of course, you can return the favor to your partner.

Menstruation is definitely an emotionally precarious time. Sometimes, PMS gives us a push to address prolonged problems you wouldn’t have a week before. Menses is a monthly opportunity for partners to exercise empathy, patience, and sexual creativity.

xo,

jd

Ask jessica- jessica drake Answers Reader’s Questions

My lover and I have started having anal sex, but I’m always paranoid about hygiene. Do you have any tips to get that area ready?

–Megan; Austin, TX

Hi Megan, I’m so glad you and your lover are expanding your sex life. There are a few steps you can try weeks ahead of time to be ready for anal sex, or some preparation steps right before the act, if you’re trying to be spontaneous.

A popular way to prepare if you have the time is to change your diet a bit. Try eating less fatty foods, and no huge meals. Keep in mind it usually takes 24 – 72 hours for most food to pass through your body. It takes 6 – 8 hours for food to pass through your stomach and small intestine, and then at least 24 hours to pass through the largeintestine.

If you’re planning on light anal stimulation with no penetration, then concentrate on washing the area very thoroughly with a mild soap and water. Make sure to skip the fancy soaps to avoid irritation. Also, as you’re having a shower, or a bath, if you kneel down into a squat and spread your legs, it will make shaving that little area so much easier, and you’ll be smooth and sweet smelling!

For full anal sex, you may consider doing an enema before the act. An enema is the process of cleaning the rectum with a bulb syringe or an enema bottle. It’s important to use a regular water enema (lukewarm or slightly warm), but not one that acts as a laxative. If you’ve never used an enema before, try a practice run before you do one for anal sex. Once you have it down, you can do an enema 2-3 hours before sex.

Keep in mind, it is not for the squeamish; it is anal sex after all. Make sure you are comfortable with your body and the way it functions. The key to great anal sex is being mentally ready as much as you are physically.

Now that you are prepared with the right information, you’re ready to go! Remember to relax, go slow and ease into it, use plenty of lube, and enjoy. For more information, check out jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal.

xo,

jd

 

My husband and I don’t seem to communicate well about sex or our relationship in or outside of the bedroom. How can I change this?

–Amy; Wichita, KS

Hi Amy, I’m so happy you reached out for help. This is a common issue for a lot of couples, which can lead to dissolution of the relationship if never properly addressed.

Communication plays a huge role in successful relationships, sexual or otherwise. You need to discuss how to express your sexuality: what works for you, how to ask your partner what works for them, and how to navigate some of the potential communication pitfalls and insecurities. Communication exercises, both on your own, as well as with your partner, are great ways to build that confidence and bond.

A simple exercise borrowing itself from the concept of “daily affirmations” is to sit with your partner and share 5 things you like about each other. Another exercise, which can take relationship communication to the next level, can be aided with the use of props such as flash cards. By looking through a series of descriptive words, and selecting which words you are comfortable with, you can share with your partner the words you prefer he or she use in relation to how they describe you. (An important thing to note about this exercise is how you can express to your partner why certain words work well for you.)

Starting with these exercises will open up the lines of communication and intimacy between you and your partner. There are plenty of more advanced communication exercises you can do with your partner, as well as great workshops and classes. I would recommend searching online to see what is in your area. Good luck, have fun, and remember to enjoy yourselves!

xo,

jd

 

Trailer for “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal”

Curious about anal sex, but afraid to try it? Maybe you have unanswered questions and just don’t know where to start. With my help, we’ll change all of that. I’m jessica drake, and in this Guide to Wicked Sex, you’ll learn everything you need to know to enjoy your first anal experience. With the help of two anal experts, you’ll learn how to prepare, experiment with toys, choose the correct lube, and finally how to go all the way. You may have thought about trying anal sex to please your man, but I’ll show you just how satisfying it can be for both of you!

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For Immediate Release | Wicked Pictures Proudly Releases Its Second Breakthrough Educational DVD: ‘jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal’.

Downloadable Version

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Uniting a lifetime of study with a decade’s worth of experiential research, jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Anal is a creative and all-encompassing examination of safer anal sex practices. With a unique blend of factual demonstrations and good humor, jessica calmly delivers the kind of encouragement that can help even an absolute beginner explore this sensation-rich act with confidence.

Of her goals for this title, jessica reveals, “I wanted to clear up some popular misconceptions. Women often express concern about discomfort, so we teach them how to create a pleasurable experience. I’ve also receive many questions about preparation, which is why I had Dana DeArmond give a demonstration. She’s wonderfully down to earth and communicates everything with a sense of humor. You’ll learn how to prepare, experiment with toys, choose the correct lube, pick the best positions, and finally how to go all the way.” With warmth and humor, jessica demystifies the “taboo” of anal activity, putting viewers at ease by stressing the potential for incredible pleasure that it brings when practiced correctly.

Ms. drake explores these topics in a series of interviews which unite such popular adult stars as Dana DeArmond and Asa Akira with talented amateurs. These disarming conversations dispel common misconceptions about anal sex while delivering invaluable details on everything from hygiene to improving communication, safety, and trust in one’s partner. “I cast people in this production who were relevant to the topic,” jessica says. “I encouraged them to be as intimate as possible, and I was extremely pleased with how open they were.” In their review, XCritic.Com called these revealing talks “highly informative, entertaining, honest, and always useful.” (To read the entire review, visit http://bit.ly/pf5ndR.)

For Wicked Pictures V.P. of Special Projects Joy King, these skillfully conducted interviews set this title apart from anything else in the marketplace. “The interviews are fascinating because, frankly, those interviewed discuss the topic the way they wish it had been explained to them in the past. Imparting information on such a personal topic can be intimidating, but they keep it authentic. The adult performers share enlightening personal experiences while the amateur couple inspires the viewer with anecdotes that are both humbling and informative.”

As the line’s creator and host, Ms. drake also sees the interviews as crucial in elevating the franchise. “I am on camera narrating each volume, but the emphasis is on the candid interviews with the participants. They are warm, intimate, and sensual, and although the demonstrations are explicit in nature, this DVD shouldn’t be thought of as an adult movie. Rather, it’s the key that opens the door to exploring new sexual territory with your partner.”

In addition to creating this exclusive line of educational DVDs, jessica is helping men and women become more sexually aware with Sex for the Wicked Woman, a series of self-help seminars illuminated by her vast expertise and passion for research. For more information, please visit www.wicked.com.  

Sex Education Just Got Sexy℠  

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