Have you ever seduced yourself? why not?

There’s a saying that before you can truly love someone else, you must love yourself, and that’s the same for seduction. Getting yourself in the mood and getting your fingers on the pulse of your sexuality is the groundwork for using all that magic on someone else.

Before we start discussing how to seduce your partner (or potential partner), i want to invite you to spoil yourself with things that make you feel sexy. i’m not just talking to my ladies here, either. I think that men getting in the mood may use slightly different techniques, but the idea here is to really take the time to focus on yourself as you delve deeper into your seductive side.

1. Pamper yourself. No matter if you’re doing it at home or going to a spa, pampering does your body good! Have a massage to relax your body and mind. get a spa manicure and pedicure. get your hair done. tan, or spray tan. Something as simple as a $20 pedicure can make your feet feel brand new and give you sexy, shiny polished toes. If you’re on a limited budget at home, do a sugar scrub in the shower and give yourself a facial or a DIY pedicure. Indulge your thirsty skin with a fragrant body oil. Focus on your body and show it some love.
2. Engage your mind. Think about sex. Fantasize about things that you think are sexy. Our minds are the most powerful sexual organ, give yours a work out! I recommend listening to music to get you in the mood…whether it’s Marvin Gaye, Enigma, Mazzy Star, Adele, Norah Jones, Frank Sinatra or Lil Wayne, if it turns you on, it’s right. Read an erotic novel. The power of the printed word is very strong. i love the Sleeping Beauty trilogy written by Anne Rice under the name A. N. Roquelaure, it’s rather explicit. if you’d like something a bit more tame to get you started, try any of the Penthouse Letters books. By stimulating your mind, you will be able to invoke a deeper sexual response from your body.
3. Masturbate. I don’t mean rub one out quickly right before you fall asleep. i’m talking about lighting candles for ambiance, playing that sexy music, breaking out the sex toys, and lube, and really making the sweet love with yourself. Explore yourself and use different techniques. Do it in the bed on your back. Lay on your stomach. Use toys, fingers, play with oils and lube. In the words of John Mayer, Your Body is a Wonderland, and you’ve got the golden ticket. Once you are familiar with exactly what gets you off, you can help any lover “discover” this for himself/herself.

All of these things are for you to enjoy on your own. Even if you have a really busy schedule, by taking time every day, whether it’s 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour, you are setting a sexual standard for yourself. You deserve it- make the time yours and yours alone.

Your body will thank you for it.

Next week we’ll start to talk about how to seduce your lover with “Dressing for SEXcess”

xo,

j